Issue #76 [Text]
Creed attacked Cassel today. Cassel's dead.
I'm putting him in Zero and I'm going to put steps in place to make sure he doesn't get the chance to get at anyone again.
Don't really have a whole hell of a lot to say aside from that, but just..be aware, I guess. He's a dangerous creep and I don't have a full handle on him yet. Obviously.
This one's my fuck-up, guys. I'm owning it. I should've planned better for this shit.
Just..bare with me while I get the hang of this.
[Private to Dillon]
I need you to help bring him back. Please.
I'm putting him in Zero and I'm going to put steps in place to make sure he doesn't get the chance to get at anyone again.
Don't really have a whole hell of a lot to say aside from that, but just..be aware, I guess. He's a dangerous creep and I don't have a full handle on him yet. Obviously.
This one's my fuck-up, guys. I'm owning it. I should've planned better for this shit.
Just..bare with me while I get the hang of this.
[Private to Dillon]
I need you to help bring him back. Please.
Issue #75
**$500 OR MORE OFFER INSIDE!!!**
Looking for prof. tattoo artist to tattoo Batman symbol in intimate place. $500 or will trade Pomeranian dog and/or Tupac T-shirt as well as $500 cash.
Serious inquiries only. Text Chris
[Private to Creed]
Hey Lambchop, I made you a chart. Every week you go without killing me, you get a sticker on the board. Ten stickers and you get a special prize.
Congratulations on earning your first sticker. Please don't kill me for calling you Lambchop.
Looking for prof. tattoo artist to tattoo Batman symbol in intimate place. $500 or will trade Pomeranian dog and/or Tupac T-shirt as well as $500 cash.
Serious inquiries only. Text Chris
[Private to Creed]
Hey Lambchop, I made you a chart. Every week you go without killing me, you get a sticker on the board. Ten stickers and you get a special prize.
Congratulations on earning your first sticker. Please don't kill me for calling you Lambchop.
Issue #74
[Private to Victor Creed]
So...
Do you prefer me calling you Creed or Sabertooth?
[Private to Cassel, Mickey]
Jesus christ I hope you two have it going on better than me. Fuck.
Fuuuuuck.
But hey; congrats. Couldn't have happened to two better dudes.
[Public]
Okay, now I'm starting to get a little nervous. Are we all gonna die, or what? Should we be getting on Iris' bus and getting the fuck out of here?
Raise your hand if you wanna abandon ship.
So...
Do you prefer me calling you Creed or Sabertooth?
[Private to Cassel, Mickey]
Jesus christ I hope you two have it going on better than me. Fuck.
Fuuuuuck.
But hey; congrats. Couldn't have happened to two better dudes.
[Public]
Okay, now I'm starting to get a little nervous. Are we all gonna die, or what? Should we be getting on Iris' bus and getting the fuck out of here?
Raise your hand if you wanna abandon ship.
Issue #73
Yeah, fuck this noise. Why do you guys get to have all the fun around here..
Ahem.
ATTENTION, BITCHES! The following wardens and inmates have been paired;
Chris and Mickey
Cassel and Omar
Sabretooth and fucking no one. He's terrible.
Files appear!
....
Now that is some serious David Blaine street magic shit.
Ahem.
ATTENTION, BITCHES! The following wardens and inmates have been paired;
Chris and Mickey
Cassel and Omar
Sabretooth and fucking no one. He's terrible.
Files appear!
....
Now that is some serious David Blaine street magic shit.
How's My Driving?
How am I doing with Chris/Red Mist? What can I do to improve? What would you like to see happen with the character?
There's nothing more important to me than having fun with fellow players, so please let me know if I'm slipping, screwing up, messing around, or in general acting or roleplaying in a manner inappropriate, wrong or politically incorrect.
So leave a comment here, or contact me on plurk at cannibalherpes, and hopefully we can resolve together whatever problems or concerns you may or may not have. Anon comments welcome!
There's nothing more important to me than having fun with fellow players, so please let me know if I'm slipping, screwing up, messing around, or in general acting or roleplaying in a manner inappropriate, wrong or politically incorrect.
So leave a comment here, or contact me on plurk at cannibalherpes, and hopefully we can resolve together whatever problems or concerns you may or may not have. Anon comments welcome!
Issue #72
[Chris, newly healed, is standing outside the Enclosure. He's looking characteristically excited, eyes gleaming]
Okay. Okay, just go with me on this.
What if this....
[He jerks his thumb back at the Enclosure's door]
....plus this?
[He brings a large box into view, holding it up in both hands.
It's Jumanji - the board game.]
Ten minutes. Get your shit and let's go.
That includes you, Omar.
Okay. Okay, just go with me on this.
What if this....
[He jerks his thumb back at the Enclosure's door]
....plus this?
[He brings a large box into view, holding it up in both hands.
It's Jumanji - the board game.]
Ten minutes. Get your shit and let's go.
That includes you, Omar.
Issue #71 - Text
[Chris is still recovering from his hurt jaw from where Sylvanas decked him two weeks ago. Now lying on his bed, staring at his warden item that's no longer showing Loki, the Sha of Doubt begins to seep menacingly in]
Loki's gone.
What's the fucking point of this again?
Should just go home. I'm a shit warden anyway.
Should just leave.
Loki's gone.
What's the fucking point of this again?
Should just go home. I'm a shit warden anyway.
Should just leave.
Issue #70
Fuck me, we're four days into March and the port messed up my goddamn March Madness spread!
Fuck it, fine. Obviously since I can't watch college basketball on the Barge, we make our own entertainment here.
Bets are currently open to be placed on all inmates. It's $5 to play, 5 spots for $20. First inmate you picked to graduate gets paid out.
All unpaired inmates are wild cards - if you bet on them and they're first to graduate, you win a date with Loki in addition to the whole kit and caboodle.
Here's some sample odds I've got running;
Mickey - 2:1
The Emperor - 2:1
Abigail - 3:1
Cass - 3:1
Mira - 5:1
Tig - 10:1
Jax - 10:1
Touko - 20:1
Sylvanas - 25:1
Jerry - 25:1
Dean - 40:1
Arthas - 50:1
...Hey, does anyone else feel like utter crap?
Fuck it, fine. Obviously since I can't watch college basketball on the Barge, we make our own entertainment here.
Bets are currently open to be placed on all inmates. It's $5 to play, 5 spots for $20. First inmate you picked to graduate gets paid out.
All unpaired inmates are wild cards - if you bet on them and they're first to graduate, you win a date with Loki in addition to the whole kit and caboodle.
Here's some sample odds I've got running;
Mickey - 2:1
The Emperor - 2:1
Abigail - 3:1
Cass - 3:1
Mira - 5:1
Tig - 10:1
Jax - 10:1
Touko - 20:1
Sylvanas - 25:1
Jerry - 25:1
Dean - 40:1
Arthas - 50:1
...Hey, does anyone else feel like utter crap?
Issue #69
Ah, fuck.
Okay. Let's make a list.
People I want to hear from
Rorschach - where are you, you tiny ginger fuck?
My dad. I don't know why, just. Nostalgia, I guess.
Prefect - we need to compare notes like, yesterday.
Slevin. Slevin, bud. I miss you. Come back to me. Fuckhead.
Batman.
The Pope.
Possibly Jesus??
Anyone in a mask and cape
Your mom
People who can fuck right off
Anyone else in my fucked up family. Extended fucked-up family included
Hannibal Lecter. Fuck that guy.
Okay. Let's make a list.
People I want to hear from
Rorschach - where are you, you tiny ginger fuck?
My dad. I don't know why, just. Nostalgia, I guess.
Prefect - we need to compare notes like, yesterday.
Slevin. Slevin, bud. I miss you. Come back to me. Fuckhead.
Batman.
The Pope.
Possibly Jesus??
Anyone in a mask and cape
Your mom
People who can fuck right off
Anyone else in my fucked up family. Extended fucked-up family included
Hannibal Lecter. Fuck that guy.
Issue #68 - Video
Holy shit.
No, holy shit.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
No, No, back the FUCK up! What the fuck. I remember now!
Ohhh, I am so unbelievably PISSED THE FUCK OFF.
No, no, you guys. Something happened. But not like yesterday, or last week. Fucking...god, do you remember when I went home? I mean, Cassel's home? And everything was cool and I met his family and we came back and everyone was fine and rainbows?
SURPRISE.
THEY FUCKING BRAINWASHED US.
Ohhh, they are DEAD. She! She is so fucking dead. I can't fucking believe this shit happened to me, I've been...god, I don't even know. Who the fuck does that to someone?! Just takes their emotions and fucks with them?!
I'm me! I'm back! HOLY shit I am back.
This shit will not fucking stand, I tell you.
....Cassel?
Oh, fuck.
Cassel.
No, holy shit.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
No, No, back the FUCK up! What the fuck. I remember now!
Ohhh, I am so unbelievably PISSED THE FUCK OFF.
No, no, you guys. Something happened. But not like yesterday, or last week. Fucking...god, do you remember when I went home? I mean, Cassel's home? And everything was cool and I met his family and we came back and everyone was fine and rainbows?
SURPRISE.
THEY FUCKING BRAINWASHED US.
Ohhh, they are DEAD. She! She is so fucking dead. I can't fucking believe this shit happened to me, I've been...god, I don't even know. Who the fuck does that to someone?! Just takes their emotions and fucks with them?!
I'm me! I'm back! HOLY shit I am back.
This shit will not fucking stand, I tell you.
....Cassel?
Oh, fuck.
Cassel.
Issue #67 - Voice
Hey Barge.
What's Spider-Man's favorite month?
Web-uary.
[A dry, humorless laugh, and the sound of a page turning]
What does Barbara wear to bed?
Her Dark Knight gown.
Why do all the chicks go for Magneto?
He's attractive.
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
[ooc: Chris is still emotion-worked! For more information, see here and here]
What's Spider-Man's favorite month?
Web-uary.
[A dry, humorless laugh, and the sound of a page turning]
What does Barbara wear to bed?
Her Dark Knight gown.
Why do all the chicks go for Magneto?
He's attractive.
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
[ooc: Chris is still emotion-worked! For more information, see here and here]
Issue #67
[Spam]
[On Christmas Eve, wrapped up in his Christmas sweater sits Chris in one of the common rooms. He has a game controller in hand and has set up a mini Grand Theft Auto tournament for himself, his inmate, and anyone who wants to stop on by.]
( Cut list for gifts )
[On Christmas Eve, wrapped up in his Christmas sweater sits Chris in one of the common rooms. He has a game controller in hand and has set up a mini Grand Theft Auto tournament for himself, his inmate, and anyone who wants to stop on by.]
( Cut list for gifts )
Issue #66 - Video
[It's five days after Chris and Cassel disappeared back to their worlds, kidnapping Scott along the way.
Now they're back. Cassel, contrary to the worried, serious tone he'd adopted prior to leaving, arrives with a swagger and a bit more attitude than usual, hands in his pockets and humming. Chris follows after, with a tighter smile than usual, though looking a bit dim and disappointed. He gives a small wave to the camera]
Told you we weren't gonna die.
You all worry way too much. Seriously, the most exciting thing that happened was that nobody freaked out and the chicken was dry. Oh, and I could see the floor at my mom's. [He waves his hands, ooh.] Nobody have a panic attack.
...Anyway, our worlds didn't break, the Barge didn't break. Cassel's mom was pretty cool, all things considered. I know you guys were on the edge of your seat about that. Look - I even got to keep all my limbs this time.
My mom is fucking amazing. Oh, and Daneca and Barron say hi. You know, for those of you who care.
[ooc: As dictated by their initial departure post, Cassel and Chris have been emotion-worked. For details over What Went Down, see here. Thanks everyone!]
Now they're back. Cassel, contrary to the worried, serious tone he'd adopted prior to leaving, arrives with a swagger and a bit more attitude than usual, hands in his pockets and humming. Chris follows after, with a tighter smile than usual, though looking a bit dim and disappointed. He gives a small wave to the camera]
Told you we weren't gonna die.
You all worry way too much. Seriously, the most exciting thing that happened was that nobody freaked out and the chicken was dry. Oh, and I could see the floor at my mom's. [He waves his hands, ooh.] Nobody have a panic attack.
...Anyway, our worlds didn't break, the Barge didn't break. Cassel's mom was pretty cool, all things considered. I know you guys were on the edge of your seat about that. Look - I even got to keep all my limbs this time.
My mom is fucking amazing. Oh, and Daneca and Barron say hi. You know, for those of you who care.
[ooc: As dictated by their initial departure post, Cassel and Chris have been emotion-worked. For details over What Went Down, see here. Thanks everyone!]
Issue #65
Fucking seriously?
Okay. Children. People under the age of sixteen. Heads up:
Your parents abandoned you here. They left you, with us - monsters and criminals - because you behaved very badly and you're being punished.
If you want to go back home - if you ever want to see Mommy and Daddy again - you'll do what the Adults say, and maybe in the next two to three days or so you'll be allowed to go home.
This means:
-No running
-No screaming at the top of your lungs
-No setting fire to anything
-No trying to start fights or picking on people littler than you
-Actually no picking on people bigger than you, too
-The Enclosure is not a toy and is Off Limits
-No eating the yellow snow.
Break these rules and you'll be stuck with us forever. I don't make the rules, I just report them.
Okay. Children. People under the age of sixteen. Heads up:
Your parents abandoned you here. They left you, with us - monsters and criminals - because you behaved very badly and you're being punished.
If you want to go back home - if you ever want to see Mommy and Daddy again - you'll do what the Adults say, and maybe in the next two to three days or so you'll be allowed to go home.
This means:
-No running
-No screaming at the top of your lungs
-No setting fire to anything
-No trying to start fights or picking on people littler than you
-Actually no picking on people bigger than you, too
-The Enclosure is not a toy and is Off Limits
-No eating the yellow snow.
Break these rules and you'll be stuck with us forever. I don't make the rules, I just report them.
Issue #64 [Private to Loki]
Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy
But I'm your warden
So don't kill me, maybe?
And this is crazy
But I'm your warden
So don't kill me, maybe?
Issue #63
[Voice]
So like.
I still have Slevin's deal. My deal, I mean.
I was thinking about going back to my world to see how it's doing - now might be a good time to do it finally - but I..
Fuck.
Does anyone else get freaked out when they start fucking with reality?
[Private to Mickey]
Hey, Short Stop. You and me, up on deck.
[Spam, Infirmary]
[In the infirmary, Chris later is found sitting on a chair next to Cassel's bed. His feet are up on the mattress and he's reading aloud from a book, just on the off-chance that coma'd people can hear him]
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep
So like.
I still have Slevin's deal. My deal, I mean.
I was thinking about going back to my world to see how it's doing - now might be a good time to do it finally - but I..
Fuck.
Does anyone else get freaked out when they start fucking with reality?
[Private to Mickey]
Hey, Short Stop. You and me, up on deck.
[Spam, Infirmary]
[In the infirmary, Chris later is found sitting on a chair next to Cassel's bed. His feet are up on the mattress and he's reading aloud from a book, just on the off-chance that coma'd people can hear him]
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep
Issue #62 - Video
[In the mess hall is Chris, who's somehow procured a gigantic poster board stretching a good twelve feet across.
On the board is pinned a photo of everyone on the Barge. Marker in hand, Chris begins going through the photos one by one - every time he gets to someone he knows is changed, he scribbles a black goatee on their face. Yes, even the women. Especially the women.
He pauses when he hits Tig Traeger.
And then takes out a small bottle of White-Out and begins to carefully erase his goatee]
( Cut for amazing art )
On the board is pinned a photo of everyone on the Barge. Marker in hand, Chris begins going through the photos one by one - every time he gets to someone he knows is changed, he scribbles a black goatee on their face. Yes, even the women. Especially the women.
He pauses when he hits Tig Traeger.
And then takes out a small bottle of White-Out and begins to carefully erase his goatee]
( Cut for amazing art )
Issue #61
[Standing in Slevin's cabin is Chris, looking around his inmate's room, skeptical and full of doubt.
There's a door there that wasn't there previously.
Giving a suspicious look to it - who's to say Slevin didn't just get maintenance to prank him? - Chris walks over and opens the door.
Well, would you look at that.]
[The camera shuts off. Fifteen minutes later, Chris is standing in the middle of Slevin's bathroom, a boombox at his feet. He points to the camera, then back at himself. The boombox starts blasting out the ultimate 90s, MC Hammer hit single, U Can't Touch This.
In Slevin's bathroom, Chris starts doing the hammer dance. ]
My-my-my-my music keeps me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
That's good when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat - uh - you can't touch
[You know that terrible dance move when a person grabs one of their ankles from behind, puts their spare hand to the back of their neck and shuffles around in a wild spasm?
Yeah. Chris is doing that. Except he misjudges the pressure put on his leg, pops the prosthetic out of place, and falls over.]
There's a door there that wasn't there previously.
Giving a suspicious look to it - who's to say Slevin didn't just get maintenance to prank him? - Chris walks over and opens the door.
Well, would you look at that.]
[The camera shuts off. Fifteen minutes later, Chris is standing in the middle of Slevin's bathroom, a boombox at his feet. He points to the camera, then back at himself. The boombox starts blasting out the ultimate 90s, MC Hammer hit single, U Can't Touch This.
In Slevin's bathroom, Chris starts doing the hammer dance. ]
My-my-my-my music keeps me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
That's good when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat - uh - you can't touch
[You know that terrible dance move when a person grabs one of their ankles from behind, puts their spare hand to the back of their neck and shuffles around in a wild spasm?
Yeah. Chris is doing that. Except he misjudges the pressure put on his leg, pops the prosthetic out of place, and falls over.]
Issue #60
[Locked from Cassel]
So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.
And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.
And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.
What kind of gift do you bring?
So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.
And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.
And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.
What kind of gift do you bring?