Issue #64 [Private to Loki]

[mistconduct]

Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy
But I'm your warden
So don't kill me, maybe?

Comments

[tricksandmischief]

And why would you think I have cause to kill you? Is it not your job to guide me on a path out of this prison?

[mistconduct]

Because I know who you are. I'm kind of...

[A huge comic book nerd]

...my people, right? They wrote books about you. Legends and shit.

So let's get this started on the right foot.

Hi, I'm Chris.

[tricksandmischief]

As you likely already know, I am Loki, the so-called God of Mischief. What else have you read about me in your books?

And the file I have heard that you have...

Perhaps I can clear up some misunderstandings.

[mistconduct]

Well, at least you're not busting into my room and stealing your file like my last goddamn inmate.

Don't do that, by the way. I have guard dogs.

Like a shit-ton of stuff. When I was growing up - this is totally fucking embarrassing, but - I used to be like this huge fanboy.

And y'know, your file pretty much is dead on accurate. What misconceptions are you thinking about?

[tricksandmischief]

I can only know that if you tell me what exactly is in that file. Maybe you can bring it to my room and we can go through it together.

[mistconduct]

I was thinking maybe putting it in a picture book format.

Where's your room again?

[tricksandmischief]

Is that not in your file?

[mistconduct]

No, doofus, it's not. What's your room number?

[tricksandmischief]

[He chuckles.]

Then it is not very thorough...

I am on level five, in room number eight.

[mistconduct]

Okay, buddy. Whatever you say.

On my way up. Hold the door.

[tricksandmischief]

[And Loki will be waiting, looking forward to sizing up this so-called warden.]

[mistconduct]

[To the tune of "Shave and a Haircut", Chris knocks at Loki's door]

Ready or not.

[tricksandmischief]

[He goes to answer it, giving Chris a very pointed look up and down when he opens the door.]

So you are... Chris.

[He does not sound impressed.]

[mistconduct]

And you are...Loki.

Slow your roll, asshole, I'm not new at this. I graduated one guy already.

Gonna invite me in?

[tricksandmischief]

You do speak oddly...

[But he nods and steps aside.]

[mistconduct]

The word you're looking for is 'awesomely'.

[Chris wanders in, plopping down in the nearest available seat]

Fancy furniture. I like.

[tricksandmischief]

It is of the Asgardian style...

I suppose your Admiral thinks that he is amusing by giving me a taste of home.

[Although it still looked like his dungeon cell, it was finely furnished as it had been then. Frigga had provided him many comforts.]

[mistconduct]

I think he's just trying to make you feel at home. Relax. You should've seen my place when I first showed up here.

[Chris flips open Loki's file, turning the pages back and forth]

Okay, so. Before we get started, anything you want to declare? Questions? Comments?

[tricksandmischief]

[Loki remains standing, a subtle position of power, looking down upon Chris.]

I only wish to say that this is a mistake. I should not be here. I do not need redemption.

[mistconduct]

[Chris keeps his eyes studiously on the file, reading through it and not glancing up]

Sorry, princess. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

[tricksandmischief]

[He lets out a chuckle.]

That sort of language will not rile me up.

[mistconduct]

That's just the way I talk. Habit.

Okay. File time. Holy family issues, Batman.

[tricksandmischief]

[He purses his lips at that. Family. Not Batman.]

What about them?

[His mood swings back and forth very quickly. Loki wonders just how much is in that file and how truthful it really is.]

[mistconduct]

Just that one of my uncles sliced me in half with a buzzsaw and I wouldn't trade mine for yours. That's all.

We gotta work on that. And possibly your attitude. You've got a bit of a god complex going on.

[tricksandmischief]

I am a god. You cannot change or dispute that.

[He's defensive at once.]