Issue #73

[mistconduct]

Yeah, fuck this noise. Why do you guys get to have all the fun around here..


Ahem.


ATTENTION, BITCHES! The following wardens and inmates have been paired;

Chris and Mickey
Cassel and Omar
Sabretooth and fucking no one. He's terrible.



Files appear!

....

Now that is some serious David Blaine street magic shit.

Comments

[voluntaryapnea]

Dude, I don't think it works that way.

[mistconduct]

What are you talking about? Of course it works that way.


Files APPEAR!


Fucking...what's the magic word for them..

[voluntaryapnea]

[He's pretty sure it doesn't and he arches his eyebrows.]

Alakazam?

[mistconduct]

Isn't that that shitty genie movie with Shaq?

Holy fuck that movie was awful.

[voluntaryapnea]

Nah, that was just Kazaam. But yeah it was terrible anyway.

Try saying it backwards. You know, like Zatanna.

[patheticvillain]

Oh my god.

[mistconduct]

Yes.

I am your god.


Fucking bow down, for I am the motherfucking bestower of warden inmate pairings now.

[patheticvillain]

Chris, shut the fuck up, no you're not.

[mistconduct]

I'M THE FUCKING ADMIRAL, CASSEL.

Me! I hold the power like fucking He-Man!

1/2

[lawofthejungle]

2/2

[lawofthejungle]

Say that like it's some kinda punishment.

[mistconduct]

You're a fucking terrible person and I hate you.

Want me to spell it out for you?

One pairing for Chris. Two pairings for Cassel.

And none for Victor Creed okay bye.

[lawofthejungle]

And what about me not givin' a shit about your precious little pairings ain't gettin' through?

I. Don't. Care. I'll shred all'a you frails to get off if I have to, spread yer guts like garland and eat your livers and use your spine for a pool cue. I don't need your buddy system approach.

[rickitikitarr]

You should have just paired all the remaining wardens with each other, see how long it took them to work it out. There could have been sparring matches for superiority.

[mistconduct]

I should have just paired all the condescending dicks together so they could have a jerk-off contest fucking got you.

[rickitikitarr]

Be honest. Are you a little bit drunk?

[Or is this a baseline for him.]

[mistconduct]

I might be a little bit drunk.

With power.

[tucky]

... So did it work?

[mistconduct]

No. Fuck. Maybe?

I don't know, my communicator's not showing it.

[tucky]

Maybe with those other guys, the Admiral was speaking through 'em. They might not have just decided to do it.

[mistconduct]

Fuck that noise. Why can't I be Admiral? I'd be a great Admiral.

[demolitions]

Hey, I've got a question.

[And it's a serious question, bro.]

...Do you ever shut up?

[mistconduct]

Dude. Why you hating on me, man?

[demolitions]

Well now, lemme think. It could be because you don't shut up?

[Jeesus Boyd, pot/kettle.]

[mistconduct]

Well, don't fucking listen then, dude. Easy.