Issue #9

[mistconduct]

It feels so fucking weird to not be in church right now.

Comments

[ichoosefight]

Right, of course. Gotta get that street cred if you're gonna be a real gangster. [ It's obvious by her tone that she thinks it's all a load of unnecessary bull. ]

[mistconduct]

Hey, I don't knock the way you speak, get off my back about mine. All right? Jesus.

[ichoosefight]

Hey, I'm from New Jersey, I am totally prepared to be made fun of.

[mistconduct]

Yeah, you're right. Jersey sucks.

[ichoosefight]

It has its charms. Like the pollution.

[mistconduct]

Fucking gross, man. Our apartment overlooked it. Jesus, Jersey. Who'd you piss off in another life?

[ichoosefight]

Considering my luck? Presumably everybody.

[mistconduct]

Move. I don't care where, move. We have the Yankees. Come to the side of good and awesome.

[ichoosefight]

Nope, can't. Too heroic. Gotham needs at least 8 heroes at any given moment.

[mistconduct]

Gotham's baseball team sucks. Trade it to Canada and move on with your life.

[ichoosefight]

Some day. But home is home, and I can't just abandon people who need my help.

[mistconduct]

Okay. New plan. Convince all the villains to move to New York and then you get to follow them out of Jersey. I don't know, like, mail the Riddler Broadway tickets or something.

[ichoosefight]

The Riddler's gone straight, actually. And you can't convince the Joker to do anything.

[mistconduct]

Oh, yeah? Fuck, nice.

You could fake him out. Build a fake Gotham. Blazing Saddles style.

[ichoosefight]

This seems way more complicated than just staying in Gotham for another ten years.

[mistconduct]

Well, I mean, it's the Joker. You can't afford to fuck around.

[ichoosefight]

You can't afford to fuck around ever when there are lives at stake.

[mistconduct]

That goes for my side, too.

[ichoosefight]

I think that's a pretty basic rule of human decency.

[mistconduct]

Well, go figure, inmates are actually three-dimensional.

[ichoosefight]

Don't flatter yourself, you're not skinny enough to be two-dimensional.

[mistconduct]

Uh, fuck you, I meant personality-wise.

[ichoosefight]

Little known fact about people: Most of them are, in fact, people.

[mistconduct]

You're shitting me.

[ichoosefight]

[ She holds her hands up in a 'wait' gesture. ]

Crazy, I know. But get this. People have motivations. Fears. Hopes. Dreams. Sometimes? Even favorite foods.