Issue #9

[mistconduct]

It feels so fucking weird to not be in church right now.

Comments

[ichoosefight]

Considering my luck? Presumably everybody.

[mistconduct]

Move. I don't care where, move. We have the Yankees. Come to the side of good and awesome.

[ichoosefight]

Nope, can't. Too heroic. Gotham needs at least 8 heroes at any given moment.

[mistconduct]

Gotham's baseball team sucks. Trade it to Canada and move on with your life.

[ichoosefight]

Some day. But home is home, and I can't just abandon people who need my help.

[mistconduct]

Okay. New plan. Convince all the villains to move to New York and then you get to follow them out of Jersey. I don't know, like, mail the Riddler Broadway tickets or something.

[ichoosefight]

The Riddler's gone straight, actually. And you can't convince the Joker to do anything.

[mistconduct]

Oh, yeah? Fuck, nice.

You could fake him out. Build a fake Gotham. Blazing Saddles style.

[ichoosefight]

This seems way more complicated than just staying in Gotham for another ten years.

[mistconduct]

Well, I mean, it's the Joker. You can't afford to fuck around.

[ichoosefight]

You can't afford to fuck around ever when there are lives at stake.

[mistconduct]

That goes for my side, too.

[ichoosefight]

I think that's a pretty basic rule of human decency.

[mistconduct]

Well, go figure, inmates are actually three-dimensional.

[ichoosefight]

Don't flatter yourself, you're not skinny enough to be two-dimensional.

[mistconduct]

Uh, fuck you, I meant personality-wise.

[ichoosefight]

Little known fact about people: Most of them are, in fact, people.

[mistconduct]

You're shitting me.

[ichoosefight]

[ She holds her hands up in a 'wait' gesture. ]

Crazy, I know. But get this. People have motivations. Fears. Hopes. Dreams. Sometimes? Even favorite foods.

[mistconduct]

Holy shit. Being with you is such an education.

[ichoosefight]

Woah there, buddy boy. I did say I'd ask Kon not to pummel you but we don't want you getting too close.

[mistconduct]

Oh, what the fuck. No! No, gross, you're not. Jesus. Ew. Fuck.

[ichoosefight]

Wow. Really, gross? Maybe I shouldn't say a thing to him at all.

[mistconduct]

I don't think of you like that.

[ichoosefight]

"Gross" was maybe taking it a little too far. My ego is a delicate thing.