mistconduct | Issue #73

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Issue #73

Yeah, fuck this noise. Why do you guys get to have all the fun around here..

Ahem.

ATTENTION, BITCHES! The following wardens and inmates have been paired;

Chris and Mickey
Cassel and Omar
Sabretooth and fucking no one. He's terrible.

Files appear!

....

Now that is some serious David Blaine street magic shit.

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Don't.

If you try to talk him out of shit he just does it harder.

I'm not talking anyone out of anything.

I'm saying fucking don't do it if he ever wants to take a shit that doesn't glitter and sing show tunes ever again.

Okay, fair enough. I'm just letting you know what you're getting yourself into.

[Personally, he can see the appeal of getting into shit with Victor Creed tonight.]

....Holy shit, can you do that?

I mean, in practice, yeah, it would suck, but.

Holy shit.

Try me.

Is this a turn-on for you?

I mean, like. I know everyone has their kink but I didn't really think you were into that gross shit.

Cute.

But honestly, I would really appreciate it if you passed up the chance to be a dickwad just this one time. I'm not really looking forward to a headache tonight.

You know what's good for headaches, right?

Sex.

Lots of sex with hairy, gross Victor Creed.

Chris, pack it in or I'm going to 'ave to come over there and thump you.

....damn it, Iris.

[Just this Look.

SHE MEANS IT.]

Thank you, darling.

Ruining all my fun..

Fine.

[Cue an eyebrow raise, an absolutely straight face, and the dryest tone ever.]

Is this a turn-on for you?

Oh, fuck off.

What, you can go there, but you can't take a little heat?

I'll fucking show you heat..

So what you're saying is you're still waiting on your balls to drop.

That is an unverified and private statement between me and my doctor, so shut the fuck up.

But not untrue.

What're you gonna do if I don't?

Kick your stupid ass, that's what. I don't even care if you're a girl.

You shouldn't. You should care about the fact that your mouth runs faster than your skinny ass can keep up with.

Really? You think it's skinny?

Holy shit, thank you. I've been trying to shed the pounds and it is not easy, let me tell you.

...you been on this boat too long. At least I hope that's what's wrong with your head.

I look fucking amazing in spandex and there's nothing wrong with that.

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