Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[versusnurture]

But you still don't need it.

[mistconduct]

Maybe. Maybe not. You don't stop missing your parents just because you became an adult.

[versusnurture]

You just said you don't need it. Is this some kind of macho thing? Because I don't get it.

[mistconduct]

I changed my mind. I miss my mom.

I miss both my parents.

[versusnurture]

You should -

[Wait. No. She stops and rewinds.]

Okay. So let's do it.

[mistconduct]

Huh?

[versusnurture]

Let's make the orphan club, or whatever.

[mistconduct]

Wow. Okay. Didn't expect you to agree, but.

Yeah, totally.

[versusnurture]

I'm full of surprises.

Are you going to run it?

[mistconduct]

I didn't really want it to be like an organized thing. It's not an AA meet-up.

[versusnurture]

Okay, you've clearly never been to a support group. Club. Thing.

[mistconduct]

No reason to. I'm not overweight, I'm not depressed or cutting, I don't do hard drugs. The only time I've been to jail was like. Last week.

[versusnurture]

Lucky. They're so boring.

[mistconduct]

Jails?

[versusnurture]

Support groups. The regular non-orphan-related ones.

[mistconduct]

What support groups were you even in?

[versusnurture]

The kind for crazy people.

[mistconduct]

So, like. Everyone on the Barge.

[versusnurture]

Yes. But I was in a mental hospital, not a rehabilitation center. Subtle differences.

[mistconduct]

I wasn't on drugs. They thought I was fucking crazy.

[versusnurture]

I meant here. This is a rehabilitation center. Just for behavior, not drugs.

Are you saying you're not crazy?

[mistconduct]

I'm not crazy!

[versusnurture]

You just said everyone on the Barge is crazy.

[mistconduct]

Well. Barring me.

[versusnurture]

You're the exception that proves the rule?

Fine. Diagnose me, then.