Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[versusnurture]

The kind for crazy people.

[mistconduct]

So, like. Everyone on the Barge.

[versusnurture]

Yes. But I was in a mental hospital, not a rehabilitation center. Subtle differences.

[mistconduct]

I wasn't on drugs. They thought I was fucking crazy.

[versusnurture]

I meant here. This is a rehabilitation center. Just for behavior, not drugs.

Are you saying you're not crazy?

[mistconduct]

I'm not crazy!

[versusnurture]

You just said everyone on the Barge is crazy.

[mistconduct]

Well. Barring me.

[versusnurture]

You're the exception that proves the rule?

Fine. Diagnose me, then.

[mistconduct]

Daddy issues.

[versusnurture]

Simplistic. Also, not a true diagnosis. Try again.

[mistconduct]

Well, everyone on this barge has daddy issues. How is that not a true diagnosis?

[versusnurture]

Because it's not recognized in the DSM. You can look it up if you want. I'll wait.

[mistconduct]

What's the DSM?

[versusnurture]

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

[mistconduct]

You made that up.

[versusnurture]

No. It's in the library. I checked. It's what psychiatric professionals use to diagnose beyond "daddy issues".

[mistconduct]

Psychiatric professionals are hacks who don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

[versusnurture]

The majority of them are, yes. Some of them are very good.

[mistconduct]

If they are, I haven't met any.

[versusnurture]

You should talk to my dad, then. Since you're interested in my issues anyway.

[mistconduct]

Why, is he here?

[versusnurture]

Yes. Garret Hobbs? He's very good. Eminent psychiatric professional.

[mistconduct]

Oh, him. Okay. I mean. Whichever.

[versusnurture]

Oh? You've met?

[She absolutely knows they've met.]