Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Yeah, no shit. The Riddler's an inmate. I was an inmate. And I was a prick and still am a prick but that didn't mean I wouldn't do the right thing when I was undead and slumming it.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I was an inmate.

While classified as an inmate, I would not have thought it wise to seek out my skills as a soldier, even though I was always singularly well qualified.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

If all you've got is "He's an inmate", I'm gonna have to agree to disagree, Benny.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

My name is Ben.

I have more information, but I am not at liberty to disclose it.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Well, you're just a wealth of useful information, Benny, jesus.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Ben.

My concern was to keep you from being inadvertently harmed in such a manner as to also avoid causing harm to my assigned inmate.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Which one's your inmate again?

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Abigail Hobbs.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Ah.

Well, not gonna lie, man, I don't really have any interest in fucking around with psychology.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Acknowledged. As stated, I an simply attempting to prevent any inadvertent misfortune that I am capable of doing so.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

That's cool. That's cool. But I'm fine. Really. Just because someone's an inmate doesn't make them a psychopath. My warden, me, and my inmate were never psychopaths.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I did not intend for that to stand as the sole qualification. It was an opening statement.

[He does not add that he was, indeed, a psychopath. The term seems to have unanticipated negative connotations.]

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

It's fine. I'm aware. Stranger-danger and all that.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I do not understand "stranger-danger."

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

It's just a phrase. It means don't fuck around with people you don't know.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Acknowledged. Thank you, sir.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Holy shit, I'm a sir now?

No prob.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I refer to all peers and superiors as such, unless they have asked that I don't or I do not acknowledge them as being my peers or superiors.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

So I'm a peer or a superior? Cool.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

You are a warden, sir.

[Seriously what is going on right now.]

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Yeah, and like I just got through explaining to my inmate last week, that doesn't mean shit about being better than other people.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

That was not my assertion. I meant only to emphasize that we are considered peers because of this.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

I don't think you're in my tax bracket.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I don't understand tax bracket.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Never mind. It just means we're not economic peers.