Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Acknowledged. As stated, I an simply attempting to prevent any inadvertent misfortune that I am capable of doing so.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

That's cool. That's cool. But I'm fine. Really. Just because someone's an inmate doesn't make them a psychopath. My warden, me, and my inmate were never psychopaths.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I did not intend for that to stand as the sole qualification. It was an opening statement.

[He does not add that he was, indeed, a psychopath. The term seems to have unanticipated negative connotations.]

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

It's fine. I'm aware. Stranger-danger and all that.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I do not understand "stranger-danger."

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

It's just a phrase. It means don't fuck around with people you don't know.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

Acknowledged. Thank you, sir.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Holy shit, I'm a sir now?

No prob.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I refer to all peers and superiors as such, unless they have asked that I don't or I do not acknowledge them as being my peers or superiors.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

So I'm a peer or a superior? Cool.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

You are a warden, sir.

[Seriously what is going on right now.]

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Yeah, and like I just got through explaining to my inmate last week, that doesn't mean shit about being better than other people.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

That was not my assertion. I meant only to emphasize that we are considered peers because of this.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

I don't think you're in my tax bracket.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I don't understand tax bracket.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Never mind. It just means we're not economic peers.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

I don't understand the relevance of the criteria in this setting.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Holy shit, Benny, it was a joke. Calm your tits.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

[Well he wasn't frustrated until now.]

Ben.

I do not have tits.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

You sure, Benny? You sure you're not hiding a sportsbra under that shirt?

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

I've heard testosterone helps with the man-tits problem. You should look into that.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

You are speaking gibberish, Chris D'Amico. I will take it as a signal that we are finished here.

[ Private : Voice ]

[mistconduct]

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand why you walk like a woman but talk like a man, Ben.

[ Private : Voice ]

[warisart]

[He's not upset, not insulted, at least not by what most people - and Chris no doubt - would assume. Merely confused and frustrated with being confused. He cuts the feed.]