mistconduct | Issue #29

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Issue #29

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

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"The Motherfucker" is pretty deluded, Chris.

It's just because you're not used to it yet. People thought the Penguin was dumb as hell too.

Chris, if you call Oswald Cobblepot the Penguin to his face he's as liable to shoot you as look at you.

What, you think I'm stupid? God, I'm just going by what I've read, not by who I've met.

...read?

[ He's not exactly put together your magical Fourth Wall Powers, Chris. ]

This is that shit Ivy was talking about, isn't it? Our world's fictional to yours.

...No, I mean, like. Newspapers and shit. Just. God, never mind.

You are the worst liar, Chris. If I had to put you on the stand I'd be ready to lose a case.

Edited 2013-09-30 16:29 (UTC)

Well, don't put me on the stand, then.

Guess I should be grateful the barge doesn't even shake hands with the idea of justice.

Yeah, we love our totalitarianism here.

Lots of you hate being called on it, though.

My family's always been the type to get off on power and privilege. I'm used to it.

I know. [ And it still disgusts him. ]

We've fallen, okay? You don't have to keep looking like you just smelled something gross.

Not far enough if they can take your fucking legs, Chris.

[ ....whoops was he supposed to have not known about that? ]

...News travels fast, huh.

You aren't exactly subtle.

[ Never speaking of the visit, ever. ]

That's one of my traits, Dent. Never go subtle.

You're incapable of subtle. Don't act like it's a choice-- you're as compelled to be obnoxious as I am to flip for the deadlock.

Eh. It's my superpower, what can I say?

I think it's your Kryptonite.

I kind of love that you know that reference.

You remember Superman's native to my universe, right?

No, I know.

It's just like.

You know that reference. It's reality.

Sorry, I'm kind of geeking out here.

And for you it's fantasy. We're not real. It's not real.

[ He's not sure how to feel about that. ]

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