Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

Private

[mistconduct]

Megamind keeps wanting me to go to Metraw-city...or was it Metro-city...anyway, whatever the fuck. It's Midwest. I'm a New Yorker.

Private

[halftheman]

So? Spent summers on my grandfather's farm till I was twenty. Still a city boy.

Anybody else offering?

Private

[mistconduct]

Nope. Though I could always go troll Rorschach, he's a New Yorker too. I don't know whose world sucks more now, his or mine. I had 9/11, he had a giant squid monster.

Private

[halftheman]

...the fuck?

I would take Midwest over squid monsters.

Private

[mistconduct]

See, that's the difference between you and me, Dent.

Re: Private

[halftheman]

That I have common sense? Yeah, I've known that a while.

Private

[mistconduct]

New York's more than a place to me. It's my home and my history and my stomping grounds.

Private

[halftheman]

Gotham's the same for me. Doesn't mean I didn't walk when Black Mask had the city. The choices were 'be Black Mask's bitch', which I took a pass on, eat a bullet, or leave. I chose to leave.

In the end, Black Mask snuffed it, I came back and took up some of the power vacuum and things got back to normal pretty fast.

Private

[mistconduct]

Black Mask is a punk bitch. You could've taken him.

Private

[halftheman]

Not when it was me alone fresh in the bus to Arkham, and him with a pack of lunatics, all armed to the teeth. Sometimes you gotta see the odds, and not take the gamble.

Private

[mistconduct]

Bet that must've hurt your pride like fuck.

Private

[halftheman]

Always does, kid. Every loss does. Still got to eat it, and move on.

I outlived him.

Private

[mistconduct]

Please. Like anyone stays dead in Gotham.

Private

[halftheman]

So far that guy has. Catwoman blew his false face right off.Someone else took up the mantle, though.

That's the thing about Gotham, kid.

Men may die, but legends never do.

Private

[mistconduct]

Yeah, I mean. Look at how many goddamn Robins there've been.

Private

[halftheman]

God, don't get me started. We're on five now. One dead, one-- we thought she was dead but is now Batgirl, one became Nightwing, the other Red Robin, and now there's that new one.

Private

[mistconduct]

I don't think the one you think is dead is actually dead. He's back and he's rebranded.

Private

[halftheman]

Entirely possible. Not my problem, either way.

Private

[mistconduct]

Could be. He's the guy that goes out and kills people.

Private

[halftheman]

What? Jason Todd? Hah! His daddy was one of my boys, back in the day.

[ Harvey's always amused at these things. He would be, being the walking Rite of Passage most Robins have to endure. ]

Private

[mistconduct]

Oh, for real? You glorious bastard.

Private

[halftheman]

He's dead now. Didn't go over well.

[ Oh well. Shit he does not want to talk about: this. ]

Well, since you're bed bound and I'm not, I think I'll take my long legs around the deck and have a smoke.

Private

[mistconduct]

You do that. Have fun.

Re: Private

[halftheman]

Will do, stumps.

[ And then he's off the comm to do exactly what he said he would. ]