Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[andyougoleft]

Is that a serious question?

[mistconduct]

You want to graduate, right? Better do what the warden says.

[andyougoleft]

Not that I have any complaints about the actual task, but for the record, this is why I have my doubts about what you're supposed to be teaching me.

[mistconduct]

I'm kidding. Don't go beating people up.

[andyougoleft]

Of course not.

[mistconduct]

Thanks.

You need anything? You all settled? We should start making plans to flip your room.

[andyougoleft]

I'm good. What all does flipping my room entail?

[mistconduct]

Making it look less like a cut-out copy of the Brady Bunch house, for one.

[andyougoleft]

I know what it means. How does it happen? Do I pack up and shampoo the carpets?

[mistconduct]

Mostly I just bitch at the Admiral until he fixes things.

And then I bring my boyfriend over and he uses his powers.

[andyougoleft]

So what is there to talk about?

What's your boyfriend going to do?

[mistconduct]

Oh, wait until you see what he can do, you'll freak the fuck out. It's awesome.

[andyougoleft]

Yeah? I look forward to it.

[mistconduct]

Cool. Think about what kind of furniture and shit you want for your room. I'll come over and we'll paint.

[andyougoleft]

So where do I sign up for the home decor magazine subscription?

[mistconduct]

In your brain, Slevin. Use your brain.

[andyougoleft]

I'm not sure I know how to do that.

[mistconduct]

Do I need to send you to remedial kindergarden, doofus?

[andyougoleft]

I thought they organized that for you?

[mistconduct]

High school. I'm graduating high school.

[andyougoleft]

Ohhhh right, right. My mistake. I must not have been paying attention.

[mistconduct]

Don't be a dick.

[andyougoleft]

Then what am I supposed to be?

[mistconduct]

Slevin. Just be Slevin.

[andyougoleft]

I auditioned for that part but they thought I just wasn't well-rounded enough.