Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[andyougoleft]

But I'm just supposed to listen to you?

[mistconduct]

Who else is going to call you on your shit? You don't let anyone in. The only reason I can call you out is because I have your file.

[andyougoleft]

And your mouth runs like the French.

[mistconduct]

You've got a problem with the way I talk? I'd have thought that'd be my least offensive quality to you.

[andyougoleft]

I don't have any problems at all. I'm just trying to figure out the boundaries.

[mistconduct]

Okay. I can deal with some figuring.

I'm probably going to bug the shit out of you, FYI. Wardens who leave inmates alone to do whatever the fuck they want usually don't see the inmates graduate.

[andyougoleft]

You're already bugging the shit out of me.

I told you the part where I don't intend to hang around here any longer than I have to, right?

[mistconduct]

No, I know. I get that. But I'm going to probably be all up in your face one way or another. We both want you off the boat.

[andyougoleft]

Are you trying to get me to say that's okay with me?

[mistconduct]

I'm just laying down boundaries.

[andyougoleft]

Yeah, we'll see.

[mistconduct]

Slevin, cut me a break here. I'm trying to work with you, I want the same things you want.

[andyougoleft]

By Barge standards, I'm cutting you all kinds of breaks. We're talking. I've been behaving. I haven't killed you or tried to kill you or even thought about killing you since we were assigned.

I haven't hurt you. But I'm not going to sit here and listen to you tell me about how I don't ever let anyone in like having my file means you know the first thing about me.

[mistconduct]

Okay, fine. What's the first thing about you?

[andyougoleft]

You tell me.

[mistconduct]

Payment in kind.

[andyougoleft]

I'm a Scorpio.

[mistconduct]

The fuck? I meant that your thing is you dish back out what's been given to you.

[andyougoleft]

You took the easy one. I had to have some kind of comeback.

[mistconduct]

Prick.

Wait, if you're a Scorpio, does that make your birthday this month?

[andyougoleft]

Isn't that in the file?

[No. No it is not.]

[mistconduct]

Nope. Birthdays are excluded. You didn't see mine in my file, right? I'm in September.

[andyougoleft]

18th, I know. I was here for that.

[mistconduct]

Yep. When's yours?

[andyougoleft]

I don't remember.