Issue #70

[mistconduct]

Fuck me, we're four days into March and the port messed up my goddamn March Madness spread!

Fuck it, fine. Obviously since I can't watch college basketball on the Barge, we make our own entertainment here.

Bets are currently open to be placed on all inmates. It's $5 to play, 5 spots for $20. First inmate you picked to graduate gets paid out.

All unpaired inmates are wild cards - if you bet on them and they're first to graduate, you win a date with Loki in addition to the whole kit and caboodle.

Here's some sample odds I've got running;

Mickey - 2:1
The Emperor - 2:1
Abigail - 3:1
Cass - 3:1
Mira - 5:1
Tig - 10:1
Jax - 10:1
Touko - 20:1
Sylvanas - 25:1
Jerry - 25:1
Dean - 40:1
Arthas - 50:1

...Hey, does anyone else feel like utter crap?

Comments

[mistconduct]

American dollars. I'm not taking a trip to Venus anytime soon.

...Throw in a free massage.

[routemistress]

You sure? The 'anging gardens there are spectacular and there's a sex museum.

Done.

[mistconduct]

On Venus? Bullshit, it's too hot for that. Are you mixing this up with Amsterdam?

If everyone is betting on Arthas you're all going to take me to the cleaners if that asshole actually pulls through.

[routemistress]

It's got biodomes, you muppet. Well, it 'as by the 25th century. It is rather like Amsterdam, now you mention it. Bicycles and all.

I'm counting on 'im doing it just to spite you, Chris love.

[mistconduct]

Don't you call me a muppet. Only we have the right to call one another muppets.

Hey, if he graduates, he'll leave. That's awesome in my book. Even if his doing so does make me so poor that I have to mortgage my parents' house on Long Island.

[routemistress]

Since when am I not we, you little gobby shit'ead?

[mistconduct]

You're a muppet, Iris?

[routemistress]

Can be if I want to be, can't I?

Muppet.

[mistconduct]

...We're talking about the Jim Hensen stuff still, right?

[routemistress]

It's an exprssion. We're talking about 'ow I'm your auntie and I get to call you what I like.

[mistconduct]

Fine. Fine. Call me a muppet. I've been called worse things.



'Muppetfucker'? Nah.

[routemistress]

Now that definitely 'as a ring to it.

[You know she's going to use Muppetfucker forever don't you.]

[mistconduct]

No, Iris. No. I was wondering aloud to myself!

[routemistress]

Begs the question of whether you see yourself as more a Bert or Ernie type, eh?

[mistconduct]

I'm not a fucking muppet.

[routemistress]

...I dont know why I'm even asking, you're so obviously Ernie.

Maybe Elmo.

[mistconduct]

IRIS GOD. NO. I'm not that fucking red twat!

[bodilesswarrior]

Nah, he's Gonzo.

...Which I guess makes Cassel Camilla.