mistconduct | Issue #60

Issue #60

[Locked from Cassel]

So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.

What kind of gift do you bring?

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Yeah, yeah.

It's..yeah, I dunno what the story is. I think so. You get to be really good at recognizing the signs.

[Not only does his face visibly fall, he actually takes a moment to pull out a chair so he can sit down.]

...Not again.

Chris. You of all people should know what going to that place once did to me. And right now? I don't think I can take it again.

...I'm sorry, man. I dunno what there is to do. I turn into a psychopath every time it hits.

[He puts the back of his hand near his mouth, silently shaking his head for a few seconds.]

It's been nearly a week since I've left my cabin for any reason other than food, showering, or exercise. I'm not -- I'm having a bit of a crisis. Already. As it is. Without any of this Mirror Barge...nonsense.

Jack's been practically living over here, and I know it's at least in part because he feels sorry for me and thinks I need the company. And maybe he's not wrong, since I don't have the spine or the stomach to tell him he can go.

Okay. Okay. Just...relax, all right? We're gonna get through this together.

Tell me what helps.

Right now I'm still at that place where nothing really helps, Chris. [He sounds more dejected than anything, though any irritation is aimed solely at himself.] I was trying to just ride this particular mood out.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up.

Isn't your fault. Clearly, the subject's already on my mind.

[He makes a sound that isn't quite a sigh, but close. He's looking off somewhere to the side and down rather than at Chris.]

I hate feeling like I'm not entirely human anymore. And over there I don't even remember being anything else. Anything other than this.

Powers, you're human.

Look, do you want me to help remind you on that other Barge?

[His expression changes instantly - he looks back at Chris in a snap.]

If I'm not myself on the other Barge, you stay the hell away. Do you hear me? It was bad enough the first time; it'll be worlds worse if I come back with memories of having killed someone I care about over here.

[Chris blinks, sitting back with his eyebrows raised]

...Maybe we'll luck out this time and no one'll change.

[He almost laughs.] You don't actually think that, do you?

Hey, I can be optimistic if I want.

Though that goes for you, too. Stay away from me if I'm fucked up.

I'll do my best. You won't be the only person I'll be running from, given that case.

[The only one he might not be able to avoid will be the Joker - and that's only because he's not sure he can resist the urge to get a little payback in, given the chance.]

Good, because my other self is not only a huge asshole, he's a stupid asshole too.

I remember. Vaguely. For the most part you don't feature too strongly in my recollections of that...place.

[Because Mirror Blight and Mirror Chris had nothing to do with one another, save exchanging sometimes words of hostility. Derek is very glad for that now. It means one less bad memory, for him, when the Mirror Barge is nothing but bad memories.]

Yeah, neither do you. Good thing, too.

Right.

[He lets that sit a moment.]

...Iris has promised to kill me, if she can. Over there. Rather than risk it.

I think all of us have those terrible contingent plans.

What's yours?

To hope I retain enough self-awareness to fall on a goddamn mine.

Big believer in God looking out for idiots and children, aren't you?

[He says this with terse, bleak humor. And doesn't specify which one he thinks Chris is.]

...Everyone's big on passwords right now. I'll tell you the same thing I've been saying to everyone. My other self doesn't remember being Derek Powers, remember?

So if you try calling me by name over there and I don't know what you're talking about, start running.

Hey, I'm Catholic. What else am I gonna believe in?

Okay. Sweet.

And I...fuck, I have no idea what I can use for a password.

Oh. Oh shit, I know. Other Me doesn't have his legs cut off.

Yes, I do think that might be something I'm capable of noticing. [/SARCASM]

Well, don't be a huge dick about it.

If you see me, just kick me. If I fall over, I'm me.

Issue #60

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