mistconduct | Issue #60

Issue #60

[Locked from Cassel]

So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.

What kind of gift do you bring?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, I can be optimistic if I want.

Though that goes for you, too. Stay away from me if I'm fucked up.

I'll do my best. You won't be the only person I'll be running from, given that case.

[The only one he might not be able to avoid will be the Joker - and that's only because he's not sure he can resist the urge to get a little payback in, given the chance.]

Good, because my other self is not only a huge asshole, he's a stupid asshole too.

I remember. Vaguely. For the most part you don't feature too strongly in my recollections of that...place.

[Because Mirror Blight and Mirror Chris had nothing to do with one another, save exchanging sometimes words of hostility. Derek is very glad for that now. It means one less bad memory, for him, when the Mirror Barge is nothing but bad memories.]

Yeah, neither do you. Good thing, too.

Right.

[He lets that sit a moment.]

...Iris has promised to kill me, if she can. Over there. Rather than risk it.

I think all of us have those terrible contingent plans.

What's yours?

To hope I retain enough self-awareness to fall on a goddamn mine.

Big believer in God looking out for idiots and children, aren't you?

[He says this with terse, bleak humor. And doesn't specify which one he thinks Chris is.]

...Everyone's big on passwords right now. I'll tell you the same thing I've been saying to everyone. My other self doesn't remember being Derek Powers, remember?

So if you try calling me by name over there and I don't know what you're talking about, start running.

Hey, I'm Catholic. What else am I gonna believe in?

Okay. Sweet.

And I...fuck, I have no idea what I can use for a password.

Oh. Oh shit, I know. Other Me doesn't have his legs cut off.