mistconduct | Issue #30

Issue #30

[Private to Barbara Gordon]

How do you take this shit, Barb? How the fuck do you keep going?

[Private to Infirmary Staff]

So what's the plan, Docs? I'm getting fucking bedsores. I want out.

[Private to Vesper]
Hey. Can we.

Look, pick up the phone. Just.

Can we talk?

[Later, public]

[He's still getting drugged every night, as much for his mental health as his physical. It's easier to get through the days when you're on a cocktail of anti-depressants.

This, however, has its disadvantages. Mainly that Chris is so exhausted that he sleeps through the night, unaware of his warden item beeping underneath the bed. The teddy bear - yes, his warden item is a slightly charred teddy - is recovered in the morning, still beeping, when Chris wakes up.

It's alarming, how he can go from sleepy and lackadaisical to fucking pissed in a single instant]

Who the FUCK killed Slevin?!

You assholes, I swear to FUCKING god, I will fucking come out of this bed and murder the shit out of you! Where the fuck is my inmate and who the fuck is responsible for this bullshit?! You think just because I'm in the infirmary doesn't mean I won't come there and murder you back, you utter shithead?!

Fuck. Someone get me a fucking wheelchair, or crutches, or whatever. Who saw him last?!

Jesus christ, you're a fucking pack of animals!

[After Slevin's been found]

Call off the search, his body turned up in the inmate showers.

Whoever did this; you're fucking dead. You hear me? You can't fucking run on a ship, dumbass. I'm coming for you.

Fuck everything.

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Jesus fucking christ, are you serious?!

Let me see him.

[ There's a pause, like Megamind's not sure about this-- and then focus on the damn body. ]

[ It's not a pretty sight. Wet, pruning, bloody -- chest open and on display, heart clearly visible. The look Chris gets is brief. ]

We need to get an idea of what did this. So I'm calling Dr. Banner, and we're going to bring him up and get him examined. Then you can request his resurrection and see what he knows about what happened.

[Chris' shoulders shake, before they eventually sag in defeat. That's a pretty pained expression of failure he's got on his face]

He's been fucking vivisected.

Yeah.

[ Megamind's voice is raw; it's a personal nightmare for him -- the things you tell little alien children will happen to them after they've watched E.T. or something else. ]

I don't think Two-Face did this.

No, he didn't. I don't know fucking anyone who'd do that. Even Creed doesn't play...fucking headgames.

Jesus christ I hope he was dead before they carved him open.

I -- man I need to brush up on my human anatomy-- There's-- I-- man I don'gt even know.

Look, I'll be up with Bruce and Scott and the body soon.

Yeah, people fucking need those parts to live. FYI.

God fucking damn it. Okay. Bring him up, put him in the bed next to mine. I'll ask the Admiral to revive him.

Should I wait for his parts to grow back or...what? Fuck, I've never brought anyone back before.

Me either, so -- I don't really know what to tell you. Ask Rorschach?

That'll go over well.

He's gonna growl at me for letting my inmate die on me.

No he won't.

And if he does, I'll deck him.

Don't deck him. There's been enough goddamn violence lately.

Point.

Look, we're-- loading up now, I'll be up there in a few minutes with Bruce.

Okay.

Fuck whoever did this. At least we know it wasn't suicide or an accident.

[ Eventually, they're all back-- Megamind and Bruce wet, Megamind pale. Slevin's body is covered to preserve his dignity and other people's sensibilities. ]

[Sinking slowly back down into the wheelchair Cassel was kind enough to make for him, Chris stares at the covered body of his inmate, hollow and at a temporary loss for words]

[ Megamind is fast to come over, not wanting to be by the body anymore than he has to be. Instead, he comes over to reach out and grasps Chris's shoulder, before he checks on Eddie just to make himself feel better. ]

I don't think this is about you, Chris. I think this is-- somebody being very, very sick on the barge.

Yeah, fucking right.

[He can't look at the body for long without feeling sick, and buries his head in his hands, breathing slowly with measured time]

Thanks for finding him. Fuck..

Edited 2013-10-09 01:21 (UTC)

[ Megamind takes his hands away to peel out of his damp gloves, tucks them into his belt so they hang, limp, by his hip. Then he brushes his fingers against Chris's hair, trying to be soothing. ]

No problem. What are neighbors for?

[With a grunt, Chris leans to the side to drop his head against Megamind's hip]

I don't know. This shit goes above and beyond the call of neighbor duty.

Yeah, I can't lie. Pretty much hit my limit of gory bodies and trauma to last me the rest of the year in the last couple of weeks.

[ He can't even keep up his on-stage voice; it's softer, deeper -- ironically, somewhat more masculine than usual. But he doesn't shy from Chris's touch - he needs it too. ]

This keeps up, Riddick's going to scruff us all, dump us in his cabin and lay on us until the bad crap starts... being bad at somebody else.

..Sorry. Between...fucking me, and my inmate...god damn it.

[He hugs tight to Megamind, and it's oddly reminiscent of when he was a toddler all those months ago, begging for his dad]

[ Megamind's happy to hold on-- or rather, he needs to. All this is super stressful, frustrating, and scary, and having Chris there, alive and safe, is important to him. ]

I know.

I know.

But I also know what I signed up for when I came on as a warden, Chris. Not everybody did.

[ Poor Scott. ]

[With a guilty grimace, Chris pulls away, tucking his hands under his arms]

If I'dve known he was going to be like that, I wouldn't have asked you to bring New Guy.

Yeah, well, I --

-- I already uhm --

Look, I was kind of mean to him, and already crushed his optimism about this earlier, so it's not just on you.

[ Sure, he invited him over for beer and video games after but still. ]

It's easy to be mean to him. It's Barge hazing, we all go through it.

Maybe I should go talk to him.

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