mistconduct | Issue #30

Issue #30

[Private to Barbara Gordon]

How do you take this shit, Barb? How the fuck do you keep going?

[Private to Infirmary Staff]

So what's the plan, Docs? I'm getting fucking bedsores. I want out.

[Private to Vesper]
Hey. Can we.

Look, pick up the phone. Just.

Can we talk?

[Later, public]

[He's still getting drugged every night, as much for his mental health as his physical. It's easier to get through the days when you're on a cocktail of anti-depressants.

This, however, has its disadvantages. Mainly that Chris is so exhausted that he sleeps through the night, unaware of his warden item beeping underneath the bed. The teddy bear - yes, his warden item is a slightly charred teddy - is recovered in the morning, still beeping, when Chris wakes up.

It's alarming, how he can go from sleepy and lackadaisical to fucking pissed in a single instant]

Who the FUCK killed Slevin?!

You assholes, I swear to FUCKING god, I will fucking come out of this bed and murder the shit out of you! Where the fuck is my inmate and who the fuck is responsible for this bullshit?! You think just because I'm in the infirmary doesn't mean I won't come there and murder you back, you utter shithead?!

Fuck. Someone get me a fucking wheelchair, or crutches, or whatever. Who saw him last?!

Jesus christ, you're a fucking pack of animals!

[After Slevin's been found]

Call off the search, his body turned up in the inmate showers.

Whoever did this; you're fucking dead. You hear me? You can't fucking run on a ship, dumbass. I'm coming for you.

Fuck everything.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

..Sorry. Between...fucking me, and my inmate...god damn it.

[He hugs tight to Megamind, and it's oddly reminiscent of when he was a toddler all those months ago, begging for his dad]

[ Megamind's happy to hold on-- or rather, he needs to. All this is super stressful, frustrating, and scary, and having Chris there, alive and safe, is important to him. ]

I know.

I know.

But I also know what I signed up for when I came on as a warden, Chris. Not everybody did.

[ Poor Scott. ]

[With a guilty grimace, Chris pulls away, tucking his hands under his arms]

If I'dve known he was going to be like that, I wouldn't have asked you to bring New Guy.

Yeah, well, I --

-- I already uhm --

Look, I was kind of mean to him, and already crushed his optimism about this earlier, so it's not just on you.

[ Sure, he invited him over for beer and video games after but still. ]

It's easy to be mean to him. It's Barge hazing, we all go through it.

Maybe I should go talk to him.

I'd let him have his down time. Get it processed. Worry about Slevin for now; Scott will understand.

Though-- you are a like age, you two might try... being friends.

We are friends.

Oh. Well, good. Then you won't mind if I bring him over again for video games and stuff, because I think he's going to be put through the meatgrinder sooner rather than later here.

[ He's just so damn innocent. Megamind knows how the Barge can grind that out in you... he had it happen over time. ]

You're replacing me?

[Even here, he manages a joke. Even if it's a shitty one he doesn't feel like laughing about]

Replacing you? What, no, never. [ He grins, and it's weak but he's trying, because Chris is trying. ] Merely training him in case you bug out on me. He's a spare.

[ ...yeah it doesn't really sound that funny, but he's... trying. Really. ]

Pssh. Scotty-dog can't measure up for shit..

[He buries his head against Megamind again, willing himself not to cry]

[ Megamind just falls into silence, gripping the boy tighter. This isn't fair, it isn't right, they're just kids, why are they here-- He's had to face the question with his own life, looking back, and the answer is always: It's not fucking fair, and never will be. ]

You've help me set such a high bar in my proteges, [ his voice is tight, but he's trying to play it off, make another joke ] you can't really blame him when he fails to meet my outrageous expectations.

[With a choked laugh, Chris finally draws away, rubbing at his eyes]

Doesn't stand a fucking chance...

Not a one. [ He ruffles the boy's hair, smiling-- it's tight, strained, but he's doing it, goddamn it. ]

Look, once we nab this inmate-carving jerk -- why don't you come stay with me for a while? Place is empty without Eddie around, and Angus will keep you company. You can get used to the wheelchair and we can work on your leg design together.

You can get out of the infirmary, get some change of scenery.

[ And I can keep you safe. ]

...Yeah. Yeah, sure, I'd like that. I just have to see what Slevin's doing, make sure he's...okay and everything. When he comes back.

If they'll let me out of here. I keep fucking telling them and they won't.

They probably just want to make sure you have good care and are safe. [ Megamind understands it. He just thinks Chris needs some emotional TLC, and needs some himself. ]

I'm fine. I'm cared for. I'm not going to fucking magically...grow my limbs back, or whatever.

[ Megamind again smooths his hand over Chris's hair. There there, baby badass. ]

I'll talk to Bruce. We'll get you out, and get you mobile.

[Giving a tight nod, Chris finally begins to unwind and relax against Megamind]

Good. Awesome. Because fuck if I'm sticking around like a goddamn invalid.

[ Not happy, but comforted, Megamind thrums quietly -- it's not the normal or contented thrum when he's happy, but it's better than the constant tension. ]

You're not. You'll be back on top of things before you know it. Promise.

Yeah. I mean.

Yeah. You're right.

Of course I am. I'm a genius. Smartest guy on the boat. You'll get better, and I'll help you get there.

...I have no fucking idea what I'd do without you.

Yeah, I know. Me either! I'm great that way. [ He's trying to get his old ego back in his voice, though it doesn't quite reach the right note... he's a bit better in the playacting. ] Let's not find out.

In the mean time, ask for Slevin to be raised, and get some rest, and as soon as Slevin's out of the infirmary I'll spring you and bring you to my room, okay?

[ Because he won't ask to move Chris before Slevin's ready to go. He knows Chris well enough that the boy won't want his inmate out of his sight after a death. Especially one so gruesome. ]

[Settling back down, Chris gives an unhappy nod, rubbing his eyes]

Sure. Yeah. I don't know when that'll be, though. He's going to be out for like a fucking week and there's no telling what it did to his mind.

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