Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[semifreakingnormal]

If you're getting worse than that regularly then you should probably, like, rethink some things.

[mistconduct]

Scott, do me a favor and don't tell me how to live my life, okay? I'm doing just fine.

[The no-legs part was clearly part of the plan]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Somehow, Scott doesn't even know about that yet.]

Uh, yeah, is that why you're in the nurse's office?

[mistconduct]

The infirmary. That's an..unrelated issue. Forget about it.

[semifreakingnormal]

How unrelated?

[mistconduct]

My uncle was just being a prick. It's no big thing.

[semifreakingnormal]

You look like you're in a hospital room. [Okay teasing is done, this is Actual Scott McCall Concern.]

[mistconduct]

That's because I am, genius.

[semifreakingnormal]

...Then it's not just your uncle being a prick.

[mistconduct]

No, he's pretty much a major prick who needs to die.

[semifreakingnormal]

What'd he do to you?

[mistconduct]

He convinced my mom to stick me in a psych ward. And when I turned eighteen, he had her killed and brought me over to the same prison he was in and cut off my legs.

[semifreakingnormal]

Holy shit.

[Chris your life is way too much for him.]

[mistconduct]

Tell me about it.

Legs are attached now but it's going to be fucking forever before I can stand up on them.

[semifreakingnormal]

Oh my god, they can reattach-- [Scott that is inconsiderate.]

I mean, just - Jesus, dude. This is crazy.

[mistconduct]

Well, I mean, it was a clean cut otherwise so...yeah, pretty much.

[semifreakingnormal]

That's. That's good, I guess.

...I'm starting to think we should change the topic. Like, ten minutes ago.

[mistconduct]

Oh, you think, genius?

[semifreakingnormal]

You could've just said to drop it, dude.

So do you have an inmate yet?


....You're a warden, right?

[mistconduct]

Yeah, I'm a warden. The guy below you swearing he doesn't like it when I curse is my stupid asshole inmate Slevin who is also kind of a prick. But I like him.

[semifreakingnormal]

I guess as long as you like him...[So must adjusting is necessary here.]

[mistconduct]

He's cool. He just has this habit of picking me up and throwing me off things. S'fucking annoying.

[semifreakingnormal]

What? Why?

[mistconduct]

Because he's bigger than me and we're both nonpowered humans and we vie for power over each other.

[semifreakingnormal]

That's weird.