Issue #29

[mistconduct]

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

Comments

[godsays]

Because it's stupid.

[mistconduct]

It's not stupid. You're stupid.

[godsays]

No. It's stupid.

[mistconduct]

You're stupid for thinking it's stupid. It's the pinnacle of ultimate super names. I'm getting it trademarked.

[godsays]

[ He's been glancing at other conversations. ] What Iris said.

[mistconduct]

You don't understand anything about capes.

[godsays]

Then explain it to me. Why is it a good name?

[mistconduct]

My mom's dead. She got fucked up by some freak accident but everyone thinks I did it, so now why not capitalize on that reputation? You go in, everyone goes "Oh shit, this guy killed his MOM, what else is he capable of? We should give up right now."

[godsays]

...you just picked it because people will call you that by accident, didn't you.

[mistconduct]

...well, I mean, it was already a common thing I was kind of known by.

[godsays]

I'm sorry about your mother.

[mistconduct]

Thanks. It was fucked up.

[godsays]

Are you all right?

[mistconduct]

I'll live.

[godsays]

That's not what I asked.

[mistconduct]

They think I'm gonna have PTSD or whatever. That I'm going to go batshit crazy and start having nightmares or recurring dreams or whatever.

[godsays]

You probably will.

[mistconduct]

Yayyy..

[godsays]

It gets better. You'll find a way to get better.

[mistconduct]

I doubt it. Y'know, Zane? I really fucking doubt it at this point.

[godsays]

It'll still happen.

[mistconduct]

Why are you so confident in me?

[godsays]

I'm not the only one. [ A little defensive. ]

[mistconduct]

Yeah, but why? Back home I'm universally known as the family fuck-up.

[godsays]

Your family is terrible.