Issue #27

[mistconduct]

Hey inmates and other wretched villainy of mankind and shit, I'm going home in like five days. What the fuck can I pick up for people?

I don't know if any of you knew this but my family is loaded. So seriously, give me a list and think of me as your hook-up guy. You name it, I can get it.

Except drugs or weapons because while I can totally manage it, that's the sort of shit that gets me demoted and makes Rorschach break my thumbs, so yeah, I don't love any of you all that much.

Fucking pass me those Post-Its. And if I don't see you before then, um.

Wish me luck?

Comments

[private]

[mistconduct]

Uh, there's this little thing called time discrepancy, okay? I can take as long as I want.

[private]

[halftheman]

So you say. Wouldn't count on it, in any case.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Pssh. I'm going to be there and back again before you can muster up the thoughtpower needed to blink on both sides of your face.

[private]

[halftheman]

Eyelid is missing. Can't blink.

Asshole.

[private]

[mistconduct]

I know. I'm just fucking with you.

Because that is seriously one ugly case of pink eye.

[private]

[halftheman]

You're really never going to learn not to let your mouth write checks that the rest of you can't cash, are you?

[private]

[mistconduct]

Go big or go home, Dent.

Seriously, you're letting a teenager fuck with your head. Way to go.

[private]

[halftheman]

You haven't fucked with anything lately. Just mildly annoyed.

[private]

[mistconduct]

If I annoy you, why the fuck do you talk to me?

[private]

[halftheman]

Same reason you talk to me.

[private]

[mistconduct]

....You want to take a level in badass and practice in taking down your uncles?

[private]

[halftheman]

I'm a willing participant in your attempts to learn.

Though you seem to be lost cause.

[private]

[mistconduct]

That's what you think. Be prepared to give up the coin, Dent, I'm going all in.

[private]

[halftheman]

I'm prepared to sit on deck, have a smoke, and watch you burn your costume and give this shit up forever.

[ So there's that, Chris. ]

Pissing on the ashes might be bonus points, though.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Newsflash; even if shit does get fucked, I'm still not giving up the dream. I'm a superhero.

[private]

[halftheman]

We'll see if that sticks once you're back on the hellboat.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Count on it. I don't need to fly to kick ass.

[private]

[halftheman]

[ There is a brief moment, thoughtful. ]

How far did your training with Rorschach take you?

[private]

[mistconduct]

Well, we were stuck together fighting every day for the past eight months, excluding floods. I'd say I'm pretty amazing by now.

[private]

[halftheman]

Weapon work? Disarms? Eight months is pretty good. Bet you were a lot skinnier and pastier then.

[private]

[mistconduct]

I was, and still am, fucking good-looking.

And he won't let me train with guns but yeah he's a fucking baller at disarming.

[private]

[halftheman]

Why no guns?

[private]

[mistconduct]

He doesn't like guns. They're weak.

[private]

[halftheman]

Jesus, who does he think he is? Bruce?

[ snort ]

Guns are perfectly acceptable tools of the trade.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Funny you should bring that up. He's kind of like a seriously twisted Batman.

Yeah, I know. I own one.