Issue #27

[mistconduct]

Hey inmates and other wretched villainy of mankind and shit, I'm going home in like five days. What the fuck can I pick up for people?

I don't know if any of you knew this but my family is loaded. So seriously, give me a list and think of me as your hook-up guy. You name it, I can get it.

Except drugs or weapons because while I can totally manage it, that's the sort of shit that gets me demoted and makes Rorschach break my thumbs, so yeah, I don't love any of you all that much.

Fucking pass me those Post-Its. And if I don't see you before then, um.

Wish me luck?

Comments

[private]

[mistconduct]

Count on it. I don't need to fly to kick ass.

[private]

[halftheman]

[ There is a brief moment, thoughtful. ]

How far did your training with Rorschach take you?

[private]

[mistconduct]

Well, we were stuck together fighting every day for the past eight months, excluding floods. I'd say I'm pretty amazing by now.

[private]

[halftheman]

Weapon work? Disarms? Eight months is pretty good. Bet you were a lot skinnier and pastier then.

[private]

[mistconduct]

I was, and still am, fucking good-looking.

And he won't let me train with guns but yeah he's a fucking baller at disarming.

[private]

[halftheman]

Why no guns?

[private]

[mistconduct]

He doesn't like guns. They're weak.

[private]

[halftheman]

Jesus, who does he think he is? Bruce?

[ snort ]

Guns are perfectly acceptable tools of the trade.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Funny you should bring that up. He's kind of like a seriously twisted Batman.

Yeah, I know. I own one.

[private]

[halftheman]

Do you train with it?

[private]

[mistconduct]

I've gone to shooting ranges before. I can hit a target.

[private]

[halftheman]

How long has it been since you had to fire on a target?

[private]

[mistconduct]

Couple of months. Not too long.

[private]

[halftheman]

You'd be surprised on how fast skill deteriorates.

Get in some time on the range before you go. You'll need it.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Yes, Dad.

[private]

[halftheman]

You said it, not me.

[ He's not even going to deny it; he doesn't serve that purpose out of some want of a son -- Gilda wanted kids, he wanted a city safe to raise them in -- but he's not forgotten what Chris said months ago. ]

[private]

[mistconduct]

For the love of christ stop telling me what to do! I've got this! I don't need crazy Gotham boys giving me advice on how to kill people!

[private]

[halftheman]

What will you do if you don't? You have a lot riding on this, don't you?

Fuck. Whatever, kid, it's not my problem. Good luck cleaning up your city. You're going to need it.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Well, if I don't, I come here, graduate an inmate, go back with a deal under my belt and fucking fix it that way!

[private]

[halftheman]

And look, he finally has a contingency plan.

[ Harvey shouldn't smirk, shouldn't mock him -- but he does. ]

Good job catching a clue, ragazzino.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Oh, are we on nicknames, now? Fuck's sake..

[private]

[halftheman]

Wouldn't call it a nickname.

[ More like an insult. ]

[private]

[mistconduct]

You have way more pressure points than me, handsome.

[private]

[halftheman]

That one's old hat, kid. Nobody's called me that and meant it in years. Even when they did, it was still half an insult.

[private]

[mistconduct]

Whatever. I have a ton more where that came from. I can quip.