Issue #24

[mistconduct]

Hey, are we back to normal? Is everyone the same age they're supposed to be?


Good, because I am fucking done with babysitting duty.

Also, what I'm done with? Fucking homework. I mean, I know I said I wanted to go back to school, but it's been eight fucking months since I was in eleventh grade, you pricks. There's supposed to be, I don't know, like a learning curve? Or something. Some of this shit is way too hard. Take it back.


Fuck kids. Fuck the teaching annex. Fuck James Bond in particular, dude hits like a truck.

And if you're reading this, fuck you.

Comments

[intelligently]

You obviously haven't seen the really pushy parents.

[mistconduct]

Yeah, my parents were never like that. Straight up didn't give a shit. No pressure, y'know?

[intelligently]

Lucky you. Mine didn't pay attention. [ They didn't realise she was smart and thought their divorce was affecting her grades. Little did they know ]

[mistconduct]

Yeah. But I bet yours are still alive.

[intelligently]

Yeah.

What happened?

[mistconduct]

I don't know if my mom's okay or not. My dad died when some fuck-head shot him with a bazooka out our apartment window.

[intelligently]

When did you last see her?

[ Go with the maybe positive ]

[mistconduct]

At breakfast the night before we all got murdered. She was going out to get a mani-pedi and then meet her sister at our boathouse.

[intelligently]

[ Yeah she did so not expect this. All of her regular bite is gone ]

How long have you been here?

[mistconduct]

Since January. So, like...eight months? Closer to nine than eight.

[intelligently]

Maybe you'll get out soon, find it out.

[mistconduct]

Maybe. Straight up, though, I'm a little freaked out at what's waiting for me.

[intelligently]

That's probably how you should feel. For... being murdered. [ If you felt good about it there was probably even more wrong ]

[mistconduct]

What, have you ever been murdered?

[intelligently]

No. [ There were those two (and soon to be three) times where she almost was, but it hasn't actually happened) ]

But I've found a few dead bodies. Feeling good isn't what happens.

[mistconduct]

Well, we're alike in that regard, or whatever.

[intelligently]

You find dead bodies?

[mistconduct]

Not like, all the fucking time.

[intelligently]

How often?

[mistconduct]

Just. Mostly towards the end of my life. And a few times when I was eight and my dad was trying to do a power play.