Issue #64 [Private to Loki]

[mistconduct]

Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy
But I'm your warden
So don't kill me, maybe?

Comments

[tricksandmischief]

[He chuckles.]

Then it is not very thorough...

I am on level five, in room number eight.

[mistconduct]

Okay, buddy. Whatever you say.

On my way up. Hold the door.

[tricksandmischief]

[And Loki will be waiting, looking forward to sizing up this so-called warden.]

[mistconduct]

[To the tune of "Shave and a Haircut", Chris knocks at Loki's door]

Ready or not.

[tricksandmischief]

[He goes to answer it, giving Chris a very pointed look up and down when he opens the door.]

So you are... Chris.

[He does not sound impressed.]

[mistconduct]

And you are...Loki.

Slow your roll, asshole, I'm not new at this. I graduated one guy already.

Gonna invite me in?

[tricksandmischief]

You do speak oddly...

[But he nods and steps aside.]

[mistconduct]

The word you're looking for is 'awesomely'.

[Chris wanders in, plopping down in the nearest available seat]

Fancy furniture. I like.

[tricksandmischief]

It is of the Asgardian style...

I suppose your Admiral thinks that he is amusing by giving me a taste of home.

[Although it still looked like his dungeon cell, it was finely furnished as it had been then. Frigga had provided him many comforts.]

[mistconduct]

I think he's just trying to make you feel at home. Relax. You should've seen my place when I first showed up here.

[Chris flips open Loki's file, turning the pages back and forth]

Okay, so. Before we get started, anything you want to declare? Questions? Comments?

[tricksandmischief]

[Loki remains standing, a subtle position of power, looking down upon Chris.]

I only wish to say that this is a mistake. I should not be here. I do not need redemption.

[mistconduct]

[Chris keeps his eyes studiously on the file, reading through it and not glancing up]

Sorry, princess. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

[tricksandmischief]

[He lets out a chuckle.]

That sort of language will not rile me up.

[mistconduct]

That's just the way I talk. Habit.

Okay. File time. Holy family issues, Batman.

[tricksandmischief]

[He purses his lips at that. Family. Not Batman.]

What about them?

[His mood swings back and forth very quickly. Loki wonders just how much is in that file and how truthful it really is.]

[mistconduct]

Just that one of my uncles sliced me in half with a buzzsaw and I wouldn't trade mine for yours. That's all.

We gotta work on that. And possibly your attitude. You've got a bit of a god complex going on.

[tricksandmischief]

I am a god. You cannot change or dispute that.

[He's defensive at once.]

[mistconduct]

Okay, but right now you need to be less of a god and more of a human. Imperfect. Full of flaws that need fixing.

[tricksandmischief]

I am not human and I can never be human.

[mistconduct]

Great. That's just...great.


All right. Ground rules time.

First and foremost: no killing anyone, except in self defense. And don't try to bullshit me on that one, people come back from the dead here.

No torture, no excessive maiming. No...enchanting people's minds or whatever the fuck.

Stay out of my room if it's locked and I'm not in there. Don't beat up on my friends when you're pissed off at me. Don't...overthrow the Admiral, or some bullshit like that.

Clear?

[tricksandmischief]

What must you think of me...

I can imagine all of the lies written in your little file. Of course I will do nothing of the sort.

[mistconduct]

I gave the same speech to Slevin. It's not personal.

[Except it is, and Chris doesn't believe Loki for a second]

Cool. So we're good. Any rules for me?

[tricksandmischief]

Fix it so I can leave as soon as possible. I do not belong here.

[mistconduct]

I'll do my best. But I'm telling you right now, if you don't admit there're some things that need fixing, it's going to take twice as long to get you out of here.

[tricksandmischief]

And what does it say there that I need to actually fix?