Issue #61

[mistconduct]

[Standing in Slevin's cabin is Chris, looking around his inmate's room, skeptical and full of doubt.

There's a door there that wasn't there previously.

Giving a suspicious look to it - who's to say Slevin didn't just get maintenance to prank him? - Chris walks over and opens the door.

Well, would you look at that.]


[The camera shuts off. Fifteen minutes later, Chris is standing in the middle of Slevin's bathroom, a boombox at his feet. He points to the camera, then back at himself. The boombox starts blasting out the ultimate 90s, MC Hammer hit single, U Can't Touch This.

In Slevin's bathroom, Chris starts doing the hammer dance. ]

My-my-my-my music keeps me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
That's good when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat - uh - you can't touch

[You know that terrible dance move when a person grabs one of their ankles from behind, puts their spare hand to the back of their neck and shuffles around in a wild spasm?

Yeah. Chris is doing that. Except he misjudges the pressure put on his leg, pops the prosthetic out of place, and falls over.]

Comments

[Private]

[mistconduct]

I'm gonna get a tattoo of your face.

[Private]

[walkingmeltdown]

And then you'll be yet another twenty-something with a flash tattoo of a fiery skull on you somewhere. Oh joy.

I'm having flashbacks to the shark discussion all over again.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

That shark would have been fucking amazing and you know it.

[Private]

[walkingmeltdown]

I know no such thing. I'm fairly certain what I know is how poorly that would have ever worked out.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Shut up. You're losing your supervillain points.

[Private]

[walkingmeltdown]

Because that was absolutely something I was very interested in having from the get-go. 'Points' in that category.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Hey: if you rack up enough of them, you get a free cup of coffee and plutonium.

[Private] lol those keywords

[walkingmeltdown]

You know, I think I might not actually need the second one, so much. Got my own supply.

[Private] it's his job interview face

[mistconduct]

True. Uranium?

[Private] oh chris bb

[walkingmeltdown]

I don't think every supervillain automatically needs a stash of unstable elements, D'amico.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Then you're not following the supervillain rules.

[Private]

[walkingmeltdown]

You know me, I live to defy expectations. Now, are you quite done breaking in that new floor with your knees, or shall I leave you to your continued celebrations?

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Oh, leave me to my celebrations. This party's going all night!