mistconduct | Issue #60

Issue #60

[Locked from Cassel]

So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.

What kind of gift do you bring?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is probably going to be a disaster no matter what I do.

Hey maybe not. I mean, you guys are pretty happy together, right? [He's not really this optimistic when Chris started out the video talking about Cassel's mom being a psychopath. Because Allison and Scott had been happy and that certainly hadn't mattered to Allison's psychopathic mother, who'd literally tried to murder Scott for no reason except that he was a werewolf.]

I'm happy. Cassel could be fucking miserable for all I know.

He's not miserable.

...About that, anyway.

That sounded ominous. What do you know that I don't?

It wasn't ominous. It was thorough.

Do you want me to start a list, because we could be here all weekend.

Shut up, Slevin. I mean, is he miserable?

Of course he is. It's his baseline.

Well, that's not true at all.

You don't think so?

He's with me. How can he be miserable?

That's not what I mean.

Well, talk to me.

Are you obnoxious?

Yeah, why?

All the time. You're always obnoxious, even when you're other things too. Like scared or angry or happy.

So I make him miserable. That's what you're saying?

No. Try to keep up.

He doesn't make you obnoxious. You don't make him miserable. No one makes me a dick. It just is.

Everything else happens around that and doesn't mean any less because of it, but that's the base line.