Issue #60

[mistconduct]

[Locked from Cassel]


So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.


What kind of gift do you bring?

Comments

[mistconduct]

Cassel and me are both wardens. Theoretically we can just skip off for a quick weekend away, especially since I know somebody with great transportation.

I figure we'd go to his world and have dinner, then come back here.

I don't think I ever got your name, before. Or I was too drunk to remember.

[queenofcharming]

That's sweet. Considering. [That they were wardens in this crazy place and had the luxury to take a weekend off. Learning that she was an inmate a few days before didn't leave a good taste in her mouth, but it wasn't his particular fault so there was nothing she'd say.] You two been together long?

Gemma. [She smiles kindly then, recalling their first encounter.]

[mistconduct]

Since we were inmates. Going back...fuck, about a year and a half now. Maybe longer. I didn't really mark the transition from friends to friends with benefits.

Sweet. Hi, Gemma. I'm, uh. Chris.

[queenofcharming]

You began here as inmates? [She certainly didn't know that there was an upgrade to warden.] So things better for you since becoming a warden?

To actually dating?

[mistconduct]

Weee did. We showed up at around the same time, graduated pretty close together...And yeah. A million times better.

Totally.

[queenofcharming]

And you both graduated from inmate high- [She cracked the joke with a small laugh.] Well good for both of you. Minus the mother being a psycho. She know about the two of you?

[mistconduct]

Yeah, that's about the whole of it. Thanks, Gemma.


She doesn't even know I exist yet.

[queenofcharming]

Any time, hon.

Oh really? Then definitely get that woman liquored up before diving in.

[mistconduct]

Yeah, tell me about it. I have heard zero redeeming qualities about this person.

[queenofcharming]

Well, I'm sure you'll come back with some great stories. Maybe we'll have some over a drink - seeing that it's going to be your birthday, isn't it?

[mistconduct]

Oh, yeah. It really is, isn't it? Jesus.

You sure you don't mind drinking with guys like me?

[queenofcharming]

Yeah, you're all right. I mean, can you old your own, Mr. 22-year-old? 'Cause if a grandma can drink you under the table, that'll be embarrassing.

[mistconduct]

No way in hell are you a grandma.

[queenofcharming]

Better believe it, hon. I've got a one-year-old grandson. And a 35-year-old son.

[mistconduct]

You are waaaaay too young for that. I was putting you at 44, tops.

[queenofcharming]

You're sweet, kid. [And she has to call him that because, well, he's a kid in her eyes.]

[mistconduct]

It's how I roll.

You remind me of my mom, a little.

[queenofcharming]

I'm sure it is.

I really hope that's not true. [She's not really a great mother figure- despite being motherly.] Unless your mother was some sort of badass.

[mistconduct]

Kind of. She backed up my dad, who was, uhm. Really intense and involved.

[queenofcharming]

Good woman. Though that sounds like my husband as well.

[mistconduct]

What's he like?

[queenofcharming]

[She sighs.] A man who loves his family and his club. Strong, protective, and will do anything to take care of those he cares for. A good man, at least in my eyes. [And that's a bit opinionated to forget all of the crimes.]

[mistconduct]

Sounds like a pretty cool guy. I'd say I wish he was here, except that's the shittiest thing to wish on anyone.

[queenofcharming]

Yeah, I don't miss him that much to want him in this place.

Though with his health, who knows, he might be here real quick.

Well, Chris. Good luck with that boyfriend's mother. Like I said, you better tell me the gory details when you get back. And get her some real nice chocolate.

[mistconduct]

Thanks, Gemma. I'm sure it'll be a story to horrify our kids.