Issue #60

[mistconduct]

[Locked from Cassel]


So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.


What kind of gift do you bring?

Comments

cw: borderline nsfw over here too. just. no one read this.

[mistconduct]

[Frustrated, brimming mad, and practically hysterical, Chris grabs a fistful of his own crotch]

What do you call this, then?! Asshole!

cw: borderline nsfw. just. no one read this.

[termofendearment]

[Tig only laughs.]

Fuck if I know. Somebody feeling left out? Pretty sure I said it was somethin' you enjoyed, yeah, didn't mean you needed to participate.

cw: borderline nsfw. just. no one read this.

[mistconduct]

[Chris lets go of the grab, dropping down in a chair with a scowl]

You're such a prick. You know that?

God. I'm going to train my dog to go after that thing of yours.

cw: borderline nsfw. just. no one read this.

[termofendearment]

Yeah, somebody mighta told me once or twice.

[His own grip eases up too, or at least backs off to its usual place at the buckle.]

Better fucking not; you know how many scars I got in my ass already?

cw: borderline nsfw. just. no one read this.

[mistconduct]

Well, stop kicking rotties, then. Dick.

You probably have so many fucking diseases...

[termofendearment]

[Well that gets a reaction, at least. A facial twitch, pursed lips as he at least attempts to be reasonable about it, but finally he just laughs, short and humorless, an equally unamused smile to match.]

Fuck you. I may be a lotta things, but I would never -- never -- kick a dog.

/Irisjack

[routemistress]

I'm so glad to see you two getting on so well.

[mistconduct]

You know this guy? Iris, what the fuck? Why does he have so many bite-marks on his ass?

[routemistress]

Tigger, stop showing Chris your arse, 'e's too young for you anyway.

[termofendearment]

I haven't showed him anything, geez.

C'mon, he's legal, right? It's fair game.

[routemistress]

'Aven't you? You're taking it slow, Tigger. This must be serious.

[mistconduct]

No.

[routemistress]

At least let the poor man down gently, Chris! Where's your manners?

[mistconduct]

He's like a million years old, he smells, he's gross, and he's a huge asshole. No.

[routemistress]

'E doesn't smell! Not in the unwashed way. Just of leather and bike oil and stuff.

[mistconduct]

You wouldn't lick him, would you?

If you wouldn't lick him, he smells.

[routemistress]

...been there, done that, kept the boxer shorts.

Actually.

[mistconduct]

I'm out.

cw: never safe for work

[termofendearment]

Plenty of broads have had a taste, baby boy. Didn't even have to use the flavored lube.

another helpful threadjack

[americasdirtiest]

Jesus Christ, you two. Get a fucking room.

[mistconduct]

Tell him to stop grabbing his goddamn nuts in front of me.

[americasdirtiest]

Maybe he thought you'd like it.

[mistconduct]

You're a dick. Both of you.

[americasdirtiest]

[He grins.]

Okay, okay. Trager, quit flirting.

[termofendearment]

He started it.