Issue #60

[mistconduct]

[Locked from Cassel]


So say you're planning a trip to meet your boyfriend's family.

And said boyfriend's mom is complete and total psychopath who can fuck with your mind if she touches you.

And you think maybe you should actually try to get along with these complete strangers because maybe, someday in the far, far off future you might actually see yourself getting together with this fucking idiot with stupid hair.


What kind of gift do you bring?

Comments

[whatthefoxsay]

Get her a variety. Really good chocolate though, not like drugstore Hershey bars.

[Kinda ignoring the insults...]

Also hi, I'm Kira.

[mistconduct]

So...Godiva? I don't know. You sure that's not too stereotypical? Like, "Hi, I know you're gonna PMS at me, here's some chocolate to calm your women parts down long enough for us to get through this dinner and make my escape"?


I'm Chris. Nice to meet you.

[whatthefoxsay]

Godiva's okay, but if you can find an independent upscale chocolatier, that's a better bet. Places like Niemen Marcus and Saks sometimes have a chocolate section and theirs is always the kind of quality that is gonna impress.

Likewise, Chris. Who's your boyfriend? If it's not prying.

[mistconduct]

Maybe. I don't know what his world looks like. Maybe all they have are Kentucky Fried Chickens as far as the eye can see.

Cassel Sharpe. Met him yet?

[whatthefoxsay]

Nope! But I'm definitely looking forward to it now.

[She can already tell Chris is a...colorful personality.]

[mistconduct]

He's amazing and sexy and weird and totally fucking cool.

Just not as cool as me.

[whatthefoxsay]

[Kira laughs. With you, not at you, Chris!]

I believe it. How did you two meet?

[mistconduct]

We were both inmates, we showed up at the same time, and we were both in the infirmary. We invented Death Bingo and...that was probably when we first clicked.

Heh, that was a weird game.

[whatthefoxsay]

[A little wry,] Sounds romantic.

Do I want to know how death bingo works?

[mistconduct]

Give me a sec, I'll dig it up.

[Chris disappears from his comm. When he returns, a minute later, it's with this worn piece of paper, crinkled in a few places, but still legible]

We were both death tolling and we wanted to make it interesting.

[whatthefoxsay]

[Stare.]

Those are some creative ways to die. You've done all of those? Or even most of those?

[mistconduct]

Not even most of them. We're way behind schedule. You'd be surprised how little 'bear attacks' come up here.

[whatthefoxsay]

That's something of a relief, though? But you do have 'vampire attacks' and that's not something you see every day.

[A pause, and she amends,]

Unless you live in Beacon Hills or Sunnydale, it's not something you see everyday.

Would a werebear count? I bet there are werebears.

[mistconduct]

Werebears count for two. But I might have to go to Cassel for final judgement on that call.