Issue #54 [Video]

[mistconduct]

[Day 1 and 2]

[Chis has been stuck on level 6 for the past couple of hours. He did great getting through the bottom two levels, but soon as his feet hit the spinning floor, he was down for the count. Now, every so often he tries to pick himself up, only to fall back down.

He's covered in bruises and slowly spinning in a circle, looking completely green, when he bothers to call in]

Can someone please come get me?

Jesus fucking christ this is embarrassing. Taken out by the goddamn Les Miserables set piece.

Hang on-

[The video cuts, just in time to catch Chris mid-hurl]

Comments

[robinwishes]

Sit tight, shit for brains.

[ Hit Girl is on it. No, really. ]

[mistconduct]

No.

No, fuck off, we are in a truce and fuck off!

[robinwishes]

We are. So sit tight, Motherfucker.

[ Because she's already in motion. Won't be stopped, can't be tamed. ]

[mistconduct]

[Chris gives a groan, dropping his forehead to the floor. Nothing to do but wait and occasionally vomit]

[robinwishes]

[ Mindy on the other hand, has to get there from level seven. She slogs past things, climbs up the stairwell, and gets on level six... and regrets it. Fucking thing spins! But she did some high-impact workouts, and knew how to hold her gorge. ]

[ Beside, she was fasting. Not eating anything that didn't come from her stash in her room. Nothing to puke but bile. ]

D'amico!

[mistconduct]

[Chris keeps trying to make his way to a wall to use it in order to stand up, but each time his hand catches it, he's pulled away from his balancing point. He flinches at the sound of his name]

Fuck off!

[robinwishes]

Quit being an enormous pussy!

[ Oh god this sucks. Keeping her balance and footing is a bitch. ]

[mistconduct]

No!

[And now he's inching back away from Hit-Girl, but the spinning keeps leading him closer]

Go back to the stupid piranhas!

[robinwishes]

Hey, superturd... I'm trying to help you you fucking ingrate.

[ And getting knocked around. ]

[mistconduct]

Bullshit! You're here to strangle me and dump my body somewhere funny!

[finally, Chris manages to stand, wobbling back and forth. He flashes both middle fingers at Hit-Girl from across the room]

[robinwishes]

Because that'll totally help Slevin, won't it? Jesus fucking Christ, give me some credit, you turdburgler!

[ Certainly, this is totally the best conversation to have while trying not to hurl. ]

[mistconduct]

Didn't stop you last time, did it?! Piss off, get out of here! Jesus!

[He falls down again, forced to take a knee. He gives a groan, covering his mouth with one hand, the other used to prop himself back up]

[robinwishes]

Chris!

[ She lurches as the hall twists. ]

Please trust me!

[mistconduct]

[It's her shouting his name that finally gets Chris to shut up and stop panicking. He pauses, which is a bad idea because a half second later he's knocked on his side. Giving a groan, he lays on his back a moment, staring across the floor]

...Well, what do you want me to do?!

[robinwishes]

Lay flat!

[ She's doing the same. The crawling is crap, but she's doing it. ]

[mistconduct]

[Giving a nod, Chris squirms until he's lying on his stomach, watching Hit-Girl inch closer to him. He starts making his way towards her, despite everything in his head telling him this is a Very Bad Idea]

[robinwishes]

[ Mindy is compartmentalizing as best she can. This is a bad situation. This is the shit she trained for. Keep that in mind. Don't deviate. He's just a stupid civilian in a bad place. Don't think of his name. ]

[She reached out-- grabbed hold of him, putting her head to the floor briefl as the room lurched again. ]

Ain't far from the door. We're gonna have to stay low, crawl. Nothing here comes out to eat us or poison us-- so we just gotta make it straight to the stairs -- the one that isn't a toxic slip n' slide.

I blame you for that, you know. Gave him ideas!

[mistconduct]

[Chris reaches out at the same time, grasping hold of Mindy's arm as the room spins. He turns pale, but manages to keep from throwing up again.]

You can blame me for every horrible shitty thing in your life and I'll agree with you if you can get us the fuck out of here!

[robinwishes]

I already do that, assbag.

[ She shifts, hooking her arm beneath his. Alright. She can do this. Eyes closed, to prevent the visual distortion from the spin, but she knows how she got here and it's to that far to the stairs. ]

[ It's going to feel like a fucking eternity, though. ]

Puke on my costume, though, and I will make you lick it clean!

[mistconduct]

God, you're fucking gross.

[he drags himself forward, shutting his eyes as well and using Mindy's directional pulling to inch his way across. Every so often, vertigo hits and he has to stop]

[robinwishes]

Hello, you call yourself the Motherfucker.

[ She swallows down hard on her gorge; when Chris doesn't move on his own, she drags him, shoulders his weight. She may be small, but the only thing she does anymore is work out, and it's really showing in the muscle of her now. ]

Don't wuss out on me now. We're almost there.

[mistconduct]

Point.

[Chris staggers along after Mindy, squirming his way through blindly]

I'm just gonna take your word for it. Aaugh, shit.

[robinwishes]

Can you-- please tell me the rationale for that name? Nobody can take it seriously. You are a laughing stock.

[ Still crawling. Stopping every few words to swallow down her gorge, but -- the bitching gives her seomething to focus. She can see the doorway now, almost reach it.... ]

[ So she grabs Chris's shirt and SHOVES. ]

[mistconduct]

Later!

[Chris squirms after Mindy, and rolls forward when she shoves him. He lies on his back just outside the doorway, struggling to get over the sensation of the room no longer spinning. Somehow, he feels worse]

[robinwishes]

[ Mindy lurches after, smacking the doorframe and not giving a damn. She'll deal with the bruise, after laying in an (unspinning) stairwell for a few minutes. ]