mistconduct | Issue #30

[Private to Barbara Gordon]

How do you take this shit, Barb? How the fuck do you keep going?

[Private to Infirmary Staff]

So what's the plan, Docs? I'm getting fucking bedsores. I want out.

[Private to Vesper]
Hey. Can we.

Look, pick up the phone. Just.

Can we talk?

[Later, public]

[He's still getting drugged every night, as much for his mental health as his physical. It's easier to get through the days when you're on a cocktail of anti-depressants.

This, however, has its disadvantages. Mainly that Chris is so exhausted that he sleeps through the night, unaware of his warden item beeping underneath the bed. The teddy bear - yes, his warden item is a slightly charred teddy - is recovered in the morning, still beeping, when Chris wakes up.

It's alarming, how he can go from sleepy and lackadaisical to fucking pissed in a single instant]

Who the FUCK killed Slevin?!

You assholes, I swear to FUCKING god, I will fucking come out of this bed and murder the shit out of you! Where the fuck is my inmate and who the fuck is responsible for this bullshit?! You think just because I'm in the infirmary doesn't mean I won't come there and murder you back, you utter shithead?!

Fuck. Someone get me a fucking wheelchair, or crutches, or whatever. Who saw him last?!

Jesus christ, you're a fucking pack of animals!

[After Slevin's been found]

Call off the search, his body turned up in the inmate showers.

Whoever did this; you're fucking dead. You hear me? You can't fucking run on a ship, dumbass. I'm coming for you.

Fuck everything.

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So what is the way I'll find it?

Up here? [And here's another thing that's very, very hard to explain to someone that hasn't already been through it and come out the other side. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, chafes his hands together, frowns down at them.]

Look, the thing is... as... totally lame as this place is sometimes, it can work, you know? I mean, I've seen it work. And that means whatever scumbag cut up your boy, there's three things ahead for him: either he goes through all this shit and one day he rolls up at the door and says he's sorry for what he did, like, really sorry... or he doesn't, and he keeps going through shit for nothing, probably way longer than you and me. Or the Admiral dumps him, and he goes back to... wherever.

So he just gets away with it like Yvette does. What about the next time he does this?

It's not like that. He's here. He's gotta deal with being here. That ain't getting away with shit.

Being here is cool. It's getting away with it.

Dude. I like it here, I'm glad you like it here, but come on. I've died... four times now. Shot, stabbed, beaten, beaten and stabbed. I've got memories there's no way I should have. I've lost-- [He cuts off, pressing his lips together with a quick shake of his head; he's not ready to talk about any of that in a calm, wardenly sort of way, the way the Doctor might have. He swallows, tries again, his voice a little scratchy.]

Anyone up here, we lose a lot. It's... that's part of the thing. He will too. Whoever he is, he will.

I died, too. But she just killed me. She didn't do that.

You're missing the point, dude.

Yeah? What's the point, then? [He really doesn't get it, Jesse.]

The point is you're not gonna kill anyone!

Says you.

Yeah. Says me. Your warden.

Whatever. [You can't stop him, Jesse!]

[Oh, for fuck's sake. Jesse sighs, pressing his fingers into his eyes, and then double-checks to make sure this is still thoroughly private. There are a few people left on board who know about Richie, but he'd like to keep it to a few. As if to make sure, he pitches his voice lower.]

Look, what makes you think I don't know what I'm talking about? I told you -- I've been here for two years, I was an inmate before I was a warden. I'm not just talking shit, here. I know. There've been... [He draws in a breath and lets it out, glancing away, eyes pained.] There was a guy, okay? And me-- doing what I did to him, it didn't change anything. I didn't feel better, the person I did it for didn't feel better, and whatever made him change in the end, it didn't happen for months, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't that. It was just... pointless.

Yeah? So everything's pointless, then. [That doesn't make sense. How could it not have made them feel better? He's trying to understand, Jesse. Really.] Slevin getting all cut apart was pointless, doing anything about it's pointless. What are we even doing here, then?!

Uh, yeah, dumbass revenge killing is pointless so... so is everything else. What? How'd you even get there?

I... I... [He's so frustrated. He's really trying to make sense of what Jesse's telling him but it's so counter intuitive that he can't quite make sense of it. Especially since he survived Yvette and stayed sane by thinking about how he'd kill her when he got a chance.]

Hey, yeah, my like vendetta didn't work out, I guess I'd better go dump my girlfriend and quit my job and just, like, throw myself off a bridge?

I didn't mean it like that!

[Okay, so, like, what, then? He is waiting, Kevin.]

I... I just... Killing Slevin was pointless. And you say killing whoever did it's pointless. And sending him to Zero is pointless.

...Yeah. That's still all true. That doesn't mean anything else is.

The Barge seems like it. How's it supposed to work if someone can kill you and they just get locked up without their powers for a week?

Issue #30

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Allison I'm so sorry

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