mistconduct | Issue #29

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Issue #29

Sup, Barge assholes. I'm back.

It's been like a whole fucking year, so I'm not going to bore you with the immense amount of crap that went down in my world because oh, hey, come up to the infirmary and take a look. Everyone and their mom already has.

Speaking of moms, I have an issue of rebranding to announce. Red Mist is dead. Henceforce I am no longer Chris D'Amico, but wish instead to be addressed by my super name, The Motherfucker. It's going to be a while before I'm back in the costume but regardless of that, I want you all to call me The Motherfucker. It grows on you.

And speaking of that, informal poll time, fucking yes it's that time again!

On a scale of 1 to 5, Chris' new goatee is;
-Awesome.
-REALLY fucking awesome.
-Sculpted like Michaelangelo's David.
-Way better than Tony Stark's
-I haven't seen it; every time I turn to observe I'm blinded by the awesome.

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If it was that good, I wouldn't have to.

Why you gotta bring me down, girl?

You bring yourself up so much that it probably evens out.

It's what I'm best at.

See? No problem.

Doesn't mean I don't feel wounded right in my self esteem, Raven.

You can do better on the name.

I love the name. It's my codename.

Mystique is a good codename.

Thanks, Raven, but I'm a guy. That name only works on chicks; Mystique makes me feel like a tranny hooker.

I wasn't suggesting that you take mine. It was an example.

I know.

I'm still plying for the Motherfucker. Red Mist is so last year.

You can't just change it.

Why not? What's stopping me?

It's your name. You have to pick one and stick to it.

Yeah, the problem is that everyone fucking knew who I was, which defeats the purpose of a code name.

And they're going to think that - the new name - is someone new?

With a new costume and a new M.O., fuck yeah they will.

What's the new MO?

Taking down the mob instead of helping them.

Why did you change?

- Oh. Because of here?

Yeah.

Stupid question.

No, it wasn't. It was just a hard decision.

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