Issue #27

[mistconduct]

Hey inmates and other wretched villainy of mankind and shit, I'm going home in like five days. What the fuck can I pick up for people?

I don't know if any of you knew this but my family is loaded. So seriously, give me a list and think of me as your hook-up guy. You name it, I can get it.

Except drugs or weapons because while I can totally manage it, that's the sort of shit that gets me demoted and makes Rorschach break my thumbs, so yeah, I don't love any of you all that much.

Fucking pass me those Post-Its. And if I don't see you before then, um.

Wish me luck?

Comments

private

[versusnurture]

What about me is bitch-like, Chris? Out of curiosity.

private

[mistconduct]

You're sarcastic-polite.

private

[versusnurture]

Could be worse, don't you think?

private

[mistconduct]

I like people to be straight with me. Even if they're nasty.

You're catty. I fucking hated high school chicks.

private

[versusnurture]

You're not straight with people. You put on swagger.

How many high school chicks do you know who were inmate material? Again: curiosity.

private

[mistconduct]

What you call swagger is what I call au naturale.

I didn't know many of them up close and personal, but I tell you they could totally all be inmates if the Admiral wanted to bring them here. They'd just have to die first.

private

[versusnurture]

Hm. Well.

If I stop being catty, I guess I'll just graduate. Just like that.

private

[mistconduct]

Yeah. Totally.

Unless you killed someone. Did you kill someone? You can totally tell me if you did.

private

[versusnurture]

Oh, obviously. Gutted him like a fish.

private

[mistconduct]

Gross.

private

[versusnurture]

You asked.

private

[mistconduct]

Seriously, why are you an inmate?

private

[versusnurture]

I just told you.

private

[mistconduct]

You gutted someone.

private

[versusnurture]

Yes.

private

[mistconduct]

Cool. I shot someone. We're practically murder buddies.

private

[versusnurture]

I . . . don't think that's how friends work.

private

[mistconduct]

It's how inmates work.

Come on. Murder bros. You and me.

private

[versusnurture]

You're not an inmate anymore.

[Also, you may eventually be lunch? It's really complicated.]

private

[mistconduct]

Ex-inmate. I'm keeping my street cred, thanks.

private

[versusnurture]

Did you like it?

private

[mistconduct]

Did I like having no rights and being treated like shit?

private

[versusnurture]

Did you like shooting someone.

private

[mistconduct]

Oh.

No, it was really fucked-up.

private

[versusnurture]

Then we can be friends.