Issue #70

[mistconduct]

Fuck me, we're four days into March and the port messed up my goddamn March Madness spread!

Fuck it, fine. Obviously since I can't watch college basketball on the Barge, we make our own entertainment here.

Bets are currently open to be placed on all inmates. It's $5 to play, 5 spots for $20. First inmate you picked to graduate gets paid out.

All unpaired inmates are wild cards - if you bet on them and they're first to graduate, you win a date with Loki in addition to the whole kit and caboodle.

Here's some sample odds I've got running;

Mickey - 2:1
The Emperor - 2:1
Abigail - 3:1
Cass - 3:1
Mira - 5:1
Tig - 10:1
Jax - 10:1
Touko - 20:1
Sylvanas - 25:1
Jerry - 25:1
Dean - 40:1
Arthas - 50:1

...Hey, does anyone else feel like utter crap?

Comments

[tucky]

You mean for a job? I work in the infirmary.

You sick or something?

[chlorophylliac]

...I wasn't aware you'd lost them. Here or elsewhere?

[fridgetothefire]

No you don't need it.

I mean, I don't like you and I don't trust you, but I also think you're much more likely to die messy if you're trying to do ley-based trigonometry and multivariate calculus in the middle of a combat situation because magic just looks cool than if you focused on defending yourself in the ways you are already competent at.

And then Cassel and Riddick and Iris would be sad.

[babyfacedkiller]

[ There are a lot of people Lloyd is willing to take shit from, but this kid, who's apparently a warden on top of everything? He's got fucking limits. ]

So he's got boobs powers and you've got asshole powers. You're a fucking match made in heaven.

[tricksandmischief]

..... What?

[darknessb4me]

Thank you.

[routemistress]

It's a bit like them butterfly thingers? Only bat themed 'cause that's funnier. Wait till you see the Carnival Octopus, though. I designed that one meself.

Remote control makes everything more fun.

[She is fingering her velvet choker as she says this.]

[americasdirtiest]

That's not what the hey was for.

...but seriously? He must know something I don't about your homophobic redneck ass.

[americasdirtiest]

Wait, no. Hold up. I don't want you to lose your money.

[Except it felt bad enough to be left off the list that he couldn't help but butt in, which, what the fuck? This is why feelings are stupid.]

[no_tell_belle]

Carnival octopus. [Well now her imagination really is running wild.

She watches, then wags her finger at Iris.] Oh, you naughty girl.

[tucky]

Rather be a redneck than white trash.

[Not that she hasn't been called white trash before herself. Details.]

... Sorry I said being gay was against God that time. Turns out that ain't actually true.

[americasdirtiest]

Oh. Really. Who knew.

[tucky]

Well, I didn't, but now I do, so I'm saying I'm sorry.

[americasdirtiest]

[His mouth twitches uncertainly.]

Yeah, except half the fucking ship thought I wasn't and the other half was waiting for me to get demoted.

[Honestly, there are days even he forgets he was ever a warden. He's so used to incarceration of one form or another that this kind of feels more natural, anyway.]

Whatever. Give me, uh... Mason, Cass -- that's that weird quiet chick, right? Her. And... Mira and Fukawa.

[americasdirtiest]

Whatever. Fine.

[tucky]

Fine.

[americasdirtiest]

That why you get 2:1 odds? 'Cause you found the real Jesus or whatever?

[tucky]

I already had the real Jesus. I just had some misconceptions, too.

Maybe I got 2:1 odds because I did real good in port-- staying calm and helping people and shit. Thinking things through, making good decisions, being nice. I am very into that these days.

["These days" in this case means "since a few days ago".]

[warisart]

My panties are not twisted. My complaint is legitimate.

Aim your casually condescending remarks at your own inmate if you like, but not at Abigail.

[americasdirtiest]

Do you want a fucking treat or something?

[tucky]

What?

No. What are you even talking about?

[americasdirtiest]

I'm talking about you sound like you want a pat on the head for making it through one fucking port. Ease the fuck up. That wasn't fun, but it wasn't...

[He trails off, blinking as his vision swims in front of him. He shakes his head, suddenly looking dazed.]

Wasn't, uh... what was I saying?

[tucky]

I never said it was fun. I'm saying I'm in a good mood, is all.

You sick?

[americasdirtiest]

No. [He frowns.] Maybe.

[tucky]

Fucking sound sick, if you ask me.

... I ain't looking for nothing from you. I just like that I did good.

[She's not used to doing good.]