Issue #70

[mistconduct]

Fuck me, we're four days into March and the port messed up my goddamn March Madness spread!

Fuck it, fine. Obviously since I can't watch college basketball on the Barge, we make our own entertainment here.

Bets are currently open to be placed on all inmates. It's $5 to play, 5 spots for $20. First inmate you picked to graduate gets paid out.

All unpaired inmates are wild cards - if you bet on them and they're first to graduate, you win a date with Loki in addition to the whole kit and caboodle.

Here's some sample odds I've got running;

Mickey - 2:1
The Emperor - 2:1
Abigail - 3:1
Cass - 3:1
Mira - 5:1
Tig - 10:1
Jax - 10:1
Touko - 20:1
Sylvanas - 25:1
Jerry - 25:1
Dean - 40:1
Arthas - 50:1

...Hey, does anyone else feel like utter crap?

Comments

[mockinjay]

I don't have a duck face.

[mistconduct]

Quack quack motherfucker.

[mistconduct]

No, see, they did that at the end of the movie. It was totally fine.

[mistconduct]

Of course I'm not fucking happy you're leaving!

[mistconduct]

...Fair enough.

[mistconduct]

Wait. You think I have fire powers?

[Way to miss the point entirely]

[mockinjay]

What the hell is your problem?!

[fridgetothefire]

[She rolls her eyes.]

No, but half people I grew up with did.

Rather than. For fuck's sake, English is your first language, learn conjunctions.

private

[fireincarnate]

[She hesitates, but only for a moment.] All right. [Anya may be - compromised, right now, but there are very few people Jean trusts more.] I'm - I'll be there soon.

[fireincarnate]

That was a really specific situation, though. They're lucky everything exploded in the right direction.

[leavetreadmarks]

Glad we understand each other.

[mistconduct]

Yep. So are you betting here or what?

[mistconduct]

It was an 80s comedy flick. They were gonna win no matter what.

[mistconduct]

Oh my god, Anya. I didn't go to grammar school!

[mistconduct]

Nothing!

Wait.


Everything!

[fridgetothefire]

I didn't go to school at all.

You just don't listen to anything that isn't about you.

private

[fridgetothefire]

[She pulls Jean in to the window seat, has a felt-tip pen behind one ear, eyes big and dark and somber.]

Tell me how you're hurting.

[mockinjay]

I can fix it for you.

[mistconduct]

....Sometimes I do.

[mistconduct]

Thanks, princess, but I don't want an arrow to the knee. This isn't Skyrim.

[fridgetothefire]

Okay, fine, yes, sometimes. Not enough.

[mockinjay]

[She doesn't get what he's saying. And she doesn't know how he knows about her arrows. So she'll just-- continue to glare.]

[leavetreadmarks]

Lloyd and Jax.

[mistconduct]

Done. Ten dollars please.

[mistconduct]

What? God, you're acting like I'm Big Brother come to take you away.